It's Christmas eve!! There is much excitement around our home just as there is in many homes tonight. Nathan has been asking "How many days to Christmas, Mom?" every day this week. With all the hustle and bustle of the season, it has been so nice to have a "low key" kind of day. Nothing scheduled. Nothing that just had to be done today. Just enjoy my family.
For some reason, I thought I would run to the store to pick up a few groceries. Yes, I know I am crazy. Day before Christmas. Hustle and bustle in full swing. I braved the chaos that is Walmart this morning. Just a quick trip. (Is that even possible?) My list was short and so I proceeded, wanting to get home for my "low key" day. It didn't take long to hear grumbling and complaining in the store. As I am getting some yummy hot chocolate for tomorrow morning, I hear more than one customer complaining that the store was all out of what they needed. I was on the aisle with baking goods. Should it be a surprise that the store just might run out of those kinds of items around certain holidays? Well, they weren't happy. Kind of made me sad for them. Anyway, I made my way through the store, checked out, and made it home. Ahhhh....
I started thinking about Christmas, and without a doubt, the only reason we have to celebrate the season is Jesus. My Savior descended from the glory of heaven to be born of a virgin, live a sinless life, die on the cross for my sins and rise again, all to fulfill God's magnificent plan to save His people. How we have strayed so far from the awe of this miracle only to get the latest toy or more gifts than we know what to do with and stress ourselves in the process. I love Christmas. I love getting together with family. I love gift giving. In a society that focuses on political correctness (holiday tree? really?), the shopping season, and how it will affect the economy, I don't want to lose focus. I want my kids to know that gifts are not a bad thing, it is when they become the priority that is the problem. That can be quite a challenge when so many people ask them, "What's Santa going to bring you?" I want so much to show them Christ all the time, but especially this time of year.
So, what do I do? Rewind a few hours before all of this. I wake up on this Christmas eve and could have been in a glorious mood, but instead, I didn't feel so great and I chose the awful mood, in serious need of an attitude adjustment. Mommy needed some time. I went for a run to clear my head and just pray. (Oh, what a difference prayer makes! It was much needed.) I was in a foul mood before and God gave me some perspective. If anyone had reason to complain it was Mary - 9 months pregnant and riding on a donkey to go register with Joseph for the census only to give birth in a dirty stable. Perspective. I probably sounded like those unhappy customers at Walmart. I have no reason to grumble. I know what I am celebrating and I wasn't exactly focussing on Christ. I was being quite selfish. I needed perspective. God is so good to give us what we need when we need it!
This Christmas, I am so grateful for Jesus and the miracle that He has accomplished in His incarnation. My gifts include a godly, loving husband; a sweet, thoughtful Nathan; a precious, funny Luke, who has made tremendous progress in his communication skills and really in all areas. Nathan is at a wonderful christian school and has a fantastic teacher. Luke is at a great school that is making a difference in his life and ours in dealing with autism. I am so blessed that I could not possibly list all my gifts. They are too numerous. They are priceless.
Tomorrow morning, the boys will receive presents, not because they have been good or bad or haven't pouted or cried (for goodness sake), but because we have been blessed and we love them. They will be excited to see what is under the tree. I will be excited to see them open their gifts. People celebrate this holiday in many different ways, but I want them to know that the greatest gift was born 2000 years ago and that is what we celebrate. I pray that they don't become consumed with getting things but become consumed with Christ. I hope that Christ is what they see in our lives and remember when they think about Christmas.
I will close with a sweet poem that Nathan learned at school. I was reminded of it today when a friend posted it on Facebook (thanks April S.)
What can I give Him, poor as I am?
If I were a shepherd, I would give Him a lamb.
If I were a wise man, I would do my part-
Yet what can I give Him? Give Him my heart.
Christina Rosetti
God has truly given us the greatest Gift! May you all have a blessed Christmas as we celebrate the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ!
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Friday, November 25, 2011
In Everything Give Thanks
"In everything give thanks..." First Thessalonians 5:18. That verse is on the wall in my dining area. This is the time of year that we set aside for giving thanks. It is not so hard to do when you give it a little thought and things are going well. I have so much to be thankful for in my life...a gracious Heavenly Father, salvation in Christ, a loving husband, two precious boys, freedom, a home, food, clothing...the list could go on and on. I am blessed beyond measure.
Last week, both Nathan and Luke were in Thanksgiving programs at their schools. Nathan's program was so sweet. I couldn't have been more proud of him. He was so nervous because he had to tell about something he is thankful for and he had to do so in front of a room full of people. Once it came his turn to speak, he did great! Not even a hint of nervousness in his voice. And what he said brought a big smile to my face. He said, " Good morning. My name is Nathan and I am thankful for my brother playing with me." There was a time when Luke didn't play with Nathan, or anyone else for that matter. He was content to play by himself. He didn't know how to interact and play with his peers. He has made so much progress and now Nathan has a "little buddy" to play with. He came up with what he was going to say all by himself. He could have said his favorite friend, or food, or toy. Any of these would have been fine. But, he recognizes Luke's progress and is thankful for his brother. I am thankful too! He is a compassionate big brother!
Luke's program was special too. The three classes joined together to sing a few songs in front of many smiling faces. As I have said in a past post, I think these programs are as much for the parents as they are for the kids. It is so nice to see Luke participate in something that other kids do. The kids followed their teacher's direction, stood in front of a crowd, sang, and did movements to the songs. This is not always easy with typical kids, much less kids with special needs. Although Luke couldn't sing all the words, he could do some of the movements and he didn't run to me when he saw me but stayed with his class until it was time to sit with me. That is pretty big. It is encouraging to see his progress, up on stage, just being a kid with his friends. He "fit in." It was nice.
It is easy to be thankful when it's all good and things are going smoothly. But, First Thessalonians 5:18 says "In everything give thanks..." EVERYTHING. Not just when it's all good. That is not always easy. As I look back over the year, I can't say that I have always been thankful. I have whined. I have complained. I have thrown pity parties. I have wished everything was easier. I wanted autism to go away. I wanted to wake up from a dream and everything be better. I wanted to know the answers to the hard questions. I have been selfish. I have gone my own way at times and made many mistakes. I have much too often been anything but thankful. But this year, more than ever, I have so much to be thankful for. Even autism. Yea, sounds weird. (See previous post on "It's a Love-Don't Love kinda thing" (5-18-11) for a better explanation.) God has opened many doors, even as it relates to increasing autism awareness. He has stunned me with His love, forgiveness, and mercy. His grace has truly amazed me. I so often take for granted the blessings that He has given me. Even in difficult times, He has gone before me and used these challenges in a mighty way. It's so hard to be thankful in the midst of adversity. I can tell you, it is impossible without the hope that is found in Christ. I am so very thankful for the hope I have in Him. I know that nothing comes into my life or the lives of my family members that has not first been filtered through my Heavenly Father's loving hands. I know He has a purpose for it all. (Romans 8:28). I can be thankful for that. I am glad I don't know what the future holds, but I am glad that I know Who holds the future. (Jeremiah 29:11). I can be thankful for that too. I want thanksgiving to be a characteristic of my life, not just a holiday I celebrate once a year.
There is an old song that is called "Thank you Lord for your blessings on me" that I remember from childhood. I haven't heard it in a long time. Some of the words : "There's a roof up above me. I've a good place to sleep. There's food on my table and shoes on my feet. You gave me your love Lord and a fine family. Thank you Lord, for your blessings on me."
I have been abundantly blessed. Thank you Lord for your blessings on me.
Last week, both Nathan and Luke were in Thanksgiving programs at their schools. Nathan's program was so sweet. I couldn't have been more proud of him. He was so nervous because he had to tell about something he is thankful for and he had to do so in front of a room full of people. Once it came his turn to speak, he did great! Not even a hint of nervousness in his voice. And what he said brought a big smile to my face. He said, " Good morning. My name is Nathan and I am thankful for my brother playing with me." There was a time when Luke didn't play with Nathan, or anyone else for that matter. He was content to play by himself. He didn't know how to interact and play with his peers. He has made so much progress and now Nathan has a "little buddy" to play with. He came up with what he was going to say all by himself. He could have said his favorite friend, or food, or toy. Any of these would have been fine. But, he recognizes Luke's progress and is thankful for his brother. I am thankful too! He is a compassionate big brother!
Luke's program was special too. The three classes joined together to sing a few songs in front of many smiling faces. As I have said in a past post, I think these programs are as much for the parents as they are for the kids. It is so nice to see Luke participate in something that other kids do. The kids followed their teacher's direction, stood in front of a crowd, sang, and did movements to the songs. This is not always easy with typical kids, much less kids with special needs. Although Luke couldn't sing all the words, he could do some of the movements and he didn't run to me when he saw me but stayed with his class until it was time to sit with me. That is pretty big. It is encouraging to see his progress, up on stage, just being a kid with his friends. He "fit in." It was nice.
It is easy to be thankful when it's all good and things are going smoothly. But, First Thessalonians 5:18 says "In everything give thanks..." EVERYTHING. Not just when it's all good. That is not always easy. As I look back over the year, I can't say that I have always been thankful. I have whined. I have complained. I have thrown pity parties. I have wished everything was easier. I wanted autism to go away. I wanted to wake up from a dream and everything be better. I wanted to know the answers to the hard questions. I have been selfish. I have gone my own way at times and made many mistakes. I have much too often been anything but thankful. But this year, more than ever, I have so much to be thankful for. Even autism. Yea, sounds weird. (See previous post on "It's a Love-Don't Love kinda thing" (5-18-11) for a better explanation.) God has opened many doors, even as it relates to increasing autism awareness. He has stunned me with His love, forgiveness, and mercy. His grace has truly amazed me. I so often take for granted the blessings that He has given me. Even in difficult times, He has gone before me and used these challenges in a mighty way. It's so hard to be thankful in the midst of adversity. I can tell you, it is impossible without the hope that is found in Christ. I am so very thankful for the hope I have in Him. I know that nothing comes into my life or the lives of my family members that has not first been filtered through my Heavenly Father's loving hands. I know He has a purpose for it all. (Romans 8:28). I can be thankful for that. I am glad I don't know what the future holds, but I am glad that I know Who holds the future. (Jeremiah 29:11). I can be thankful for that too. I want thanksgiving to be a characteristic of my life, not just a holiday I celebrate once a year.
There is an old song that is called "Thank you Lord for your blessings on me" that I remember from childhood. I haven't heard it in a long time. Some of the words : "There's a roof up above me. I've a good place to sleep. There's food on my table and shoes on my feet. You gave me your love Lord and a fine family. Thank you Lord, for your blessings on me."
I have been abundantly blessed. Thank you Lord for your blessings on me.
Monday, October 31, 2011
God's grace and Nathan Broome
Today, I want to tell you a little more about my "typical" child, Nathan. Six years ago, he came into the world in a "not-so-typical" way and every time I think of it, I am reminded of what a miracle he is and how good God is everyday. He really is in the details.
On October 31, 2005, a Monday, I went to work like I did every other Monday. At the time, I worked at a local hospital as an occupational therapist. I was 26 weeks 4 days into my pregnancy. I didn't feel great that morning, but none of my mornings felt that great. (You see, I wasn't one of those cute pregnant women with the basketball in front. No, I carried it all over. I waddled. I was tired all of the time. Every joint hurt. Just thought that was how pregnant women felt.) My intentions that day were to finish my caseload at the hospital, then see a couple of home health patients in the afternoon. That morning, I was moving around slower than usual. I was having some mild low back discomfort, but nothing big, or so I thought. By lunch time, I was so tired and just wanted to find a mat in the rehab gym to lie down on for a little while. I remember having to call my home health patients and reschedule them for later in the afternoon because I was not finished at the hospital. A co-worker even offered to stay for me so I could go home and rest. I told her I would be fine. As I was trying to rest, my fellow therapists were growing concerned about me. I called the doctor around 12:30 to get an appointment but they couldn't see me until 2:00 pm. I tried to rest but just felt awful so my boss ended up taking me via wheelchair to my doctor's office so I could maybe get in earlier than planned. The office was in a building connected to the hospital so it only took a few minutes to get there, but by the time we arrived, I was starting to have serious pain. It was 1:30 p.m. The nurses heard me crying in the waiting area and got me back to a room. They had a hard time finding a doctor because it was their lunch hour and they were either rounding or in surgery. Finally, they found a doctor. He checked me and I remember him saying something about the baby's head. He told me I was going to have a baby very soon. What?
In a storyline that could have been an "ER" episode, they couldn't find a stretcher so they picked me up, put me in a wheelchair, told me not to push (uh...impossible) and ran with me down the hall toward the hospital with the doctor running in front of us. He was on his cell phone talking to the 7th floor, telling them to get a surgery room ready and call a neonatologist. My boss was still with me, running along side while on my cell phone calling my husband, who worked 40 minutes away in Mississippi, to tell him I was in labor and come to the hospital quickly. When I get to the room, there were already several people there waiting on me. They lifted me onto a table and told me not to push. Yea, right. Tried but that didn't work. One nurse was coaching me on how to breathe while putting papers in front of me to sign for admittance to the hospital. I was in shock. Could he survive? Would I survive? How did this happen? Will I see Roger again? Every time the door opened, I looked to see if it was Roger all while the nurse was trying to get me to focus...breathe...push...It only took 3 or 4 pushes and my little boy was born. He cried and it was the sweetest sound I had ever heard. He weighed 2 pounds 6 ounces and was 14 1/4 inches long. It was 2:30 in the afternoon. They immediately started working on him while awaiting the ambulance and team from the local children's hospital who would take him to the NICU.
The nurse took me in to a regular room and my husband soon arrived. We were both a little in disbelief. This was our first child and we certainly weren't expecting this. (We were scheduled for our child birth class a couple of weeks from then. This wasn't the right order!) The transport team wheeled our little guy into the room so we could see him - 2-3 minutes at most. Ten little fingers and ten tiny toes. He even had a little hair on his head. I could already see that he had a cowlick! He was amazing. So perfect. We tried to take it all in for the short time he was there. We had never seen someone so small. And he was ours. Hard to comprehend at the time. Then they had to take him away. The neonatologist arrived to tell us what to expect during our NICU stay. We had no idea what a roller coaster ride we were in for. Our sweet baby was soon on his way to a new place and we were still there trying to wrap our minds around it all.
We named him Nathan Grant. Nathan means "gift from God." He is exactly that. He spent the next 2 1/2 months in the NICU. It was an incredibly difficult time. He battled a serious bowel infection while there called necrotizing enterocolotis which we thought might take his life. He was so sick. It was so hard to watch him go through this. Surgeons rounded on him daily to assess whether or not to remove part of his intestines. Difficult really isn't adequate to describe what we went through.
But God....I love those words. But God spared his life. God worked in amazing ways through our circumstances. He healed our little boy and surgery was not necessary. Nathan had the most minor of intracranial hemorrhages (hemorrhaging is common in preemies) - which resolved, and even his retinopathy was the mildest it could possibly be. God's hand was on every detail of his life. We were blessed to bring Nathan home on January 13, 2006, 2 1/2 weeks before his original due date. He weighed 5 pounds 14 ounces when we he was discharged from the hospital.
He is a miracle in our lives. God was so gracious in sending us this little boy. Nathan is a tremendous blessing. His only delays are in speech but he has received speech therapy since he was 2 1/2 years old and he has almost overcome these deficits! All praise to God! He is an active, imaginative, and creative little boy. I couldn't imagine life without him.
God was so evident in the events of October 31, 2005 and the many days and weeks that followed while in the hospital. He continues to amaze me. The fact that I worked in the hospital that was connected to my doctor's office building...The fact that I could have gone home at lunch instead of staying at the hospital, but I didn't...The fact that I was supposed to be at a patient's home for his therapy at the time I went into labor, but I wasn't...quite possibly saved our lives. The outcome could have been so different. God worked in and through that experience. My faith was strengthened as I watched it all unfold. His grace, power, and mercy were on full display. And I am so thankful. My prayer is that my precious gift from God will grow into a young man who loves the Lord, fears the Lord, and serves Him faithfully. I pray that He will continue to work in and through Nathan. May God receive the glory for it all!
Happy Birthday my sweet Nathan!
On October 31, 2005, a Monday, I went to work like I did every other Monday. At the time, I worked at a local hospital as an occupational therapist. I was 26 weeks 4 days into my pregnancy. I didn't feel great that morning, but none of my mornings felt that great. (You see, I wasn't one of those cute pregnant women with the basketball in front. No, I carried it all over. I waddled. I was tired all of the time. Every joint hurt. Just thought that was how pregnant women felt.) My intentions that day were to finish my caseload at the hospital, then see a couple of home health patients in the afternoon. That morning, I was moving around slower than usual. I was having some mild low back discomfort, but nothing big, or so I thought. By lunch time, I was so tired and just wanted to find a mat in the rehab gym to lie down on for a little while. I remember having to call my home health patients and reschedule them for later in the afternoon because I was not finished at the hospital. A co-worker even offered to stay for me so I could go home and rest. I told her I would be fine. As I was trying to rest, my fellow therapists were growing concerned about me. I called the doctor around 12:30 to get an appointment but they couldn't see me until 2:00 pm. I tried to rest but just felt awful so my boss ended up taking me via wheelchair to my doctor's office so I could maybe get in earlier than planned. The office was in a building connected to the hospital so it only took a few minutes to get there, but by the time we arrived, I was starting to have serious pain. It was 1:30 p.m. The nurses heard me crying in the waiting area and got me back to a room. They had a hard time finding a doctor because it was their lunch hour and they were either rounding or in surgery. Finally, they found a doctor. He checked me and I remember him saying something about the baby's head. He told me I was going to have a baby very soon. What?
In a storyline that could have been an "ER" episode, they couldn't find a stretcher so they picked me up, put me in a wheelchair, told me not to push (uh...impossible) and ran with me down the hall toward the hospital with the doctor running in front of us. He was on his cell phone talking to the 7th floor, telling them to get a surgery room ready and call a neonatologist. My boss was still with me, running along side while on my cell phone calling my husband, who worked 40 minutes away in Mississippi, to tell him I was in labor and come to the hospital quickly. When I get to the room, there were already several people there waiting on me. They lifted me onto a table and told me not to push. Yea, right. Tried but that didn't work. One nurse was coaching me on how to breathe while putting papers in front of me to sign for admittance to the hospital. I was in shock. Could he survive? Would I survive? How did this happen? Will I see Roger again? Every time the door opened, I looked to see if it was Roger all while the nurse was trying to get me to focus...breathe...push...It only took 3 or 4 pushes and my little boy was born. He cried and it was the sweetest sound I had ever heard. He weighed 2 pounds 6 ounces and was 14 1/4 inches long. It was 2:30 in the afternoon. They immediately started working on him while awaiting the ambulance and team from the local children's hospital who would take him to the NICU.
The nurse took me in to a regular room and my husband soon arrived. We were both a little in disbelief. This was our first child and we certainly weren't expecting this. (We were scheduled for our child birth class a couple of weeks from then. This wasn't the right order!) The transport team wheeled our little guy into the room so we could see him - 2-3 minutes at most. Ten little fingers and ten tiny toes. He even had a little hair on his head. I could already see that he had a cowlick! He was amazing. So perfect. We tried to take it all in for the short time he was there. We had never seen someone so small. And he was ours. Hard to comprehend at the time. Then they had to take him away. The neonatologist arrived to tell us what to expect during our NICU stay. We had no idea what a roller coaster ride we were in for. Our sweet baby was soon on his way to a new place and we were still there trying to wrap our minds around it all.
We named him Nathan Grant. Nathan means "gift from God." He is exactly that. He spent the next 2 1/2 months in the NICU. It was an incredibly difficult time. He battled a serious bowel infection while there called necrotizing enterocolotis which we thought might take his life. He was so sick. It was so hard to watch him go through this. Surgeons rounded on him daily to assess whether or not to remove part of his intestines. Difficult really isn't adequate to describe what we went through.
But God....I love those words. But God spared his life. God worked in amazing ways through our circumstances. He healed our little boy and surgery was not necessary. Nathan had the most minor of intracranial hemorrhages (hemorrhaging is common in preemies) - which resolved, and even his retinopathy was the mildest it could possibly be. God's hand was on every detail of his life. We were blessed to bring Nathan home on January 13, 2006, 2 1/2 weeks before his original due date. He weighed 5 pounds 14 ounces when we he was discharged from the hospital.
He is a miracle in our lives. God was so gracious in sending us this little boy. Nathan is a tremendous blessing. His only delays are in speech but he has received speech therapy since he was 2 1/2 years old and he has almost overcome these deficits! All praise to God! He is an active, imaginative, and creative little boy. I couldn't imagine life without him.
God was so evident in the events of October 31, 2005 and the many days and weeks that followed while in the hospital. He continues to amaze me. The fact that I worked in the hospital that was connected to my doctor's office building...The fact that I could have gone home at lunch instead of staying at the hospital, but I didn't...The fact that I was supposed to be at a patient's home for his therapy at the time I went into labor, but I wasn't...quite possibly saved our lives. The outcome could have been so different. God worked in and through that experience. My faith was strengthened as I watched it all unfold. His grace, power, and mercy were on full display. And I am so thankful. My prayer is that my precious gift from God will grow into a young man who loves the Lord, fears the Lord, and serves Him faithfully. I pray that He will continue to work in and through Nathan. May God receive the glory for it all!
Happy Birthday my sweet Nathan!
Thursday, October 20, 2011
A busy October and some really great kids
I am so far behind on my blogging. It seems as though life is moving at warp speed since school began. There are so many things going on in my life right now! I guess I had just forgotten how busy October is.
Earlier in the month, Roger and I were able to go to the Alabama/ Vanderbilt game in Tuscaloosa for homecoming. It was so much fun! We had a blast. First, Alabama won, so that was great. Second, it was Roger's first Bama game and he loved it. Most importantly, it was an opportunity for us to get away together for a night, which was much needed and enjoyed!
Last weekend, I had an opportunity to go back to my hometown, Hanceville, Alabama, and visit with high school friends at our school's homecoming. It was fun and so good to see how everyone is doing these days, how we have changed, how we have not changed. Lots of reminiscing. It was a "pre-reunion" so to speak. Our 20th high school reunion is next year (wow! we are old!). Looking forward to seeing even more friends then.
Nathan's kindergarten class is busy too. Next week, he gets to go on a field trip to a pumpkin patch with his class. He is so excited and I know it will be fun. His class also has Nursery Rhyme Day. Nathan has chosen "Humpty Dumpty" for his rhyme so I am trying to get something together to make him look like an egg. His only request is that I don't make him look like a cracked egg! Apparently, the thought of the fall off of that wall doesn't set well with him. I told him that even if I made him look cracked, it wouldn't hurt. No use though. No scrambling. A whole Humpty Dumpty he will be.
Today, Luke got to go on his first field trip of the year with his preschool class at Little Tree. I want to say a big thank you to Scott Parks and the students of Project Outreach at Spanish Fort High School for making it all possible. Project Outreach is a group of high school students who have an interest in working with special needs kids. They have a heart for them too. From the moment we arrived, they welcomed the kids and really worked to engage the kids in all the activities. They all had a great time. I really appreciate the time and effort that they put into making this day happen for our kids - kids that they don't know, kids that may not understand what is going on, kids that may not be able to verbalize anything to them. Yet, they didn't stop trying to talk to the kids or trying to get to know them. They wanted the kids to have a great time. A fun day was had by all. It takes a lot of work to put something like this together and to see the number of young people there with an interest in helping these kids, my son included, was so encouraging. So much of what I see in the news about teens is negative. That is why I wanted to take the time to write this. These young women and men are reaching out beyond themselves to learn about and care about those who are different, those who have special needs. They aren't self absorbed, "me first" kind of kids but rather kind, caring, and sincere young adults who want to make a difference in people's lives. I wish there were more programs out there like this in our schools. Bullying is a problems in schools, especially with autistic students as the targets. Programs such as this one could go a long way in decreasing bullying and breaking down stereotypes that people with disabilities are somehow not capable. Sure, some things are out of reach, but there is so much they can do. There is so much they can offer. Get to know someone with autism or down's syndrome or CP or anything and your life will be richer for it. Disability or not, we are all human and when we see each other as just that, the differences don't matter quite so much. I hope these are the kinds of kids that my son will one day have the privilege of calling "friends."
So, kuddos to Mr. Parks and his students. Thanks you for your time and effort to put it all together. Even more, thank you for caring. Thank you for seeing our kids as kids, not disabilities. The world is a little nicer place because of programs like Project Outreach and the special people that are a part of it.
Earlier in the month, Roger and I were able to go to the Alabama/ Vanderbilt game in Tuscaloosa for homecoming. It was so much fun! We had a blast. First, Alabama won, so that was great. Second, it was Roger's first Bama game and he loved it. Most importantly, it was an opportunity for us to get away together for a night, which was much needed and enjoyed!
Last weekend, I had an opportunity to go back to my hometown, Hanceville, Alabama, and visit with high school friends at our school's homecoming. It was fun and so good to see how everyone is doing these days, how we have changed, how we have not changed. Lots of reminiscing. It was a "pre-reunion" so to speak. Our 20th high school reunion is next year (wow! we are old!). Looking forward to seeing even more friends then.
Nathan's kindergarten class is busy too. Next week, he gets to go on a field trip to a pumpkin patch with his class. He is so excited and I know it will be fun. His class also has Nursery Rhyme Day. Nathan has chosen "Humpty Dumpty" for his rhyme so I am trying to get something together to make him look like an egg. His only request is that I don't make him look like a cracked egg! Apparently, the thought of the fall off of that wall doesn't set well with him. I told him that even if I made him look cracked, it wouldn't hurt. No use though. No scrambling. A whole Humpty Dumpty he will be.
Today, Luke got to go on his first field trip of the year with his preschool class at Little Tree. I want to say a big thank you to Scott Parks and the students of Project Outreach at Spanish Fort High School for making it all possible. Project Outreach is a group of high school students who have an interest in working with special needs kids. They have a heart for them too. From the moment we arrived, they welcomed the kids and really worked to engage the kids in all the activities. They all had a great time. I really appreciate the time and effort that they put into making this day happen for our kids - kids that they don't know, kids that may not understand what is going on, kids that may not be able to verbalize anything to them. Yet, they didn't stop trying to talk to the kids or trying to get to know them. They wanted the kids to have a great time. A fun day was had by all. It takes a lot of work to put something like this together and to see the number of young people there with an interest in helping these kids, my son included, was so encouraging. So much of what I see in the news about teens is negative. That is why I wanted to take the time to write this. These young women and men are reaching out beyond themselves to learn about and care about those who are different, those who have special needs. They aren't self absorbed, "me first" kind of kids but rather kind, caring, and sincere young adults who want to make a difference in people's lives. I wish there were more programs out there like this in our schools. Bullying is a problems in schools, especially with autistic students as the targets. Programs such as this one could go a long way in decreasing bullying and breaking down stereotypes that people with disabilities are somehow not capable. Sure, some things are out of reach, but there is so much they can do. There is so much they can offer. Get to know someone with autism or down's syndrome or CP or anything and your life will be richer for it. Disability or not, we are all human and when we see each other as just that, the differences don't matter quite so much. I hope these are the kinds of kids that my son will one day have the privilege of calling "friends."
So, kuddos to Mr. Parks and his students. Thanks you for your time and effort to put it all together. Even more, thank you for caring. Thank you for seeing our kids as kids, not disabilities. The world is a little nicer place because of programs like Project Outreach and the special people that are a part of it.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
So blessed....but still another reminder
The boys are involved in program at church called AWANA. AWANA stands for "Approved Workmen Are Not Ashamed" and it comes from 2 Timothy 2:15 which states "Be diligent to present yourself approved to God as a workman who does not need to be ashamed, accurately handling the word of truth." It is a wonderful program that encourages scripture memory and teaches about God, His Word, and missions. Nathan is in Sparks which is for kindergarten through 2nd grade and Luke is in Cubbies for 3 and 4 year olds. It is amazing the amount of scripture that they can learn at this age. I love it!
Although Luke is old enough for Cubbies, Roger and I contemplated holding him back, simply because he cannnot recite the verses. His communication is still limited. But receptively , he gets it. He understands so much. We didn't want to limit what he could learn, especially God's Word, just because he could not say it yet. We are blessed to have wonderful workers in AWANA. The Cubbies workers are fantastic. They are loving, caring people who have a heart for the children and instilling God's Word in their hearts. So I am glad we chose to let Luke be a Cubbie this year. I know it will only benefit him.
Last night was parents night at Cubbies. I was hesitant to go as I was afraid I might be a distraction for Luke. I should have went with my instinct. Despite the many remarks we have received that Luke has been a great little Cubbie, listening and attentive, last night he was anything but that. He moved around almost constantly, was more vocal and more disruptive. It was like wrestling a little bear cub! During Bible verse time, he did not want to sit but rather tried to rummage through my purse to get my iPhone so he could find his favorite app. I was constatnly trying to redirect him without causing more distraction. It was difficult for me. I didn't want him to disrupt the others just because I was there and yet, if I had left, it would have probably caused a bigger problem because he was used to me being there. The workers assured me that he never acts this way when I am not there. I am so glad! By the end of the night, I was exhausted, physically and emotionally.
It was a hard night for me. I was so excited to see all that he is learning in Cubbies. It is a great program. The kids are precious and are like sponges, soaking up these life giving words. I know Luke is gaining from this but it was still tough. I am so glad that he is able to be a part of the class and be around his typically developing peers without being too much of a distraction. But at the same time, it was hard for me to see him with all of his peers. You see, sometimes I forget about the autism. Sounds crazy, I know. But, it is true. When we are at home or around family, this is our norm. Differences aren't so notable. But when he is with his friends, his deficits are very obvious. And, at this age, friends are starting to notice that he is different. I am so glad that he doesn't know that he is different. There are so many reasons you want your child to stand out in the crowd, like being one of character, integrity, dependability... but standing out because they act a little different and can't talk isn't one of them. That is how last night hit me. My heart was heavy for my son. Oh, how I want him to be like his friends. What I wouldn't give to hear him talk like them and do the things they are able to do.
I don't want to sound like a pity party. I have been known to have those. I am so grateful for that little boy. He is more than precious to me and he brings our family joy every day. It's just hard sometimes when I am reminded of how he is different than others. I know God has great things in store for Luke. God created him . He is fearfully and wonderfully made. I know this. God will work in him for Luke's good and His own glory. I believe that wholeheartedly because it is in God's Word. I know all these things but somtimes, it is just hard to see so clearly the challenges facing your child. My prayer is that as we walk through life, one day at a time, we will be mindful of all the wonderful blessings and abilities Luke has, not focus on what he can't do right now. We pray that the verses that we talk to Luke about will be hidden in his precious heart and God will use them in a mighty way to work in Luke's life and reach others for Him.
Although Luke is old enough for Cubbies, Roger and I contemplated holding him back, simply because he cannnot recite the verses. His communication is still limited. But receptively , he gets it. He understands so much. We didn't want to limit what he could learn, especially God's Word, just because he could not say it yet. We are blessed to have wonderful workers in AWANA. The Cubbies workers are fantastic. They are loving, caring people who have a heart for the children and instilling God's Word in their hearts. So I am glad we chose to let Luke be a Cubbie this year. I know it will only benefit him.
Last night was parents night at Cubbies. I was hesitant to go as I was afraid I might be a distraction for Luke. I should have went with my instinct. Despite the many remarks we have received that Luke has been a great little Cubbie, listening and attentive, last night he was anything but that. He moved around almost constantly, was more vocal and more disruptive. It was like wrestling a little bear cub! During Bible verse time, he did not want to sit but rather tried to rummage through my purse to get my iPhone so he could find his favorite app. I was constatnly trying to redirect him without causing more distraction. It was difficult for me. I didn't want him to disrupt the others just because I was there and yet, if I had left, it would have probably caused a bigger problem because he was used to me being there. The workers assured me that he never acts this way when I am not there. I am so glad! By the end of the night, I was exhausted, physically and emotionally.
It was a hard night for me. I was so excited to see all that he is learning in Cubbies. It is a great program. The kids are precious and are like sponges, soaking up these life giving words. I know Luke is gaining from this but it was still tough. I am so glad that he is able to be a part of the class and be around his typically developing peers without being too much of a distraction. But at the same time, it was hard for me to see him with all of his peers. You see, sometimes I forget about the autism. Sounds crazy, I know. But, it is true. When we are at home or around family, this is our norm. Differences aren't so notable. But when he is with his friends, his deficits are very obvious. And, at this age, friends are starting to notice that he is different. I am so glad that he doesn't know that he is different. There are so many reasons you want your child to stand out in the crowd, like being one of character, integrity, dependability... but standing out because they act a little different and can't talk isn't one of them. That is how last night hit me. My heart was heavy for my son. Oh, how I want him to be like his friends. What I wouldn't give to hear him talk like them and do the things they are able to do.
I don't want to sound like a pity party. I have been known to have those. I am so grateful for that little boy. He is more than precious to me and he brings our family joy every day. It's just hard sometimes when I am reminded of how he is different than others. I know God has great things in store for Luke. God created him . He is fearfully and wonderfully made. I know this. God will work in him for Luke's good and His own glory. I believe that wholeheartedly because it is in God's Word. I know all these things but somtimes, it is just hard to see so clearly the challenges facing your child. My prayer is that as we walk through life, one day at a time, we will be mindful of all the wonderful blessings and abilities Luke has, not focus on what he can't do right now. We pray that the verses that we talk to Luke about will be hidden in his precious heart and God will use them in a mighty way to work in Luke's life and reach others for Him.
Saturday, September 3, 2011
Lots of rain and lots of thinking
Labor Day weekend is here. Tropical Storm Lee is visiting and raining on everything. My mind has chosen now to go into overdrive. I have been thinking. It is kind of quiet right now so I can actually do that. But, if this sounds a little all over the place, well, that is sometimes how my thinking goes. More often than I would like, I find myself thinking about this whole autism thing. I can't imagine why...
When this diagnosis became a part of our family, I never really felt compelled to cry out to God "why Luke, why us?" I am not saying that to pat myself on the back. Not at all. When my questions finally came, they were more like "Are you sure God? This is scary. You think Roger and I can handle this?" Maybe a little like Moses. (Yes, I know it is a stretch.) I can just hear him say "God, are you sure you want ME to lead your people out of captivity? But, I have this speech problem." I know Roger and I don't have to lead throngs of people to the Promised Land but the task we face seems monumental. Our goal is not to "fix" Luke because he is not broken. Autism is just apart of who he is. We want to help him learn and grow into the little boy God created him to be.
Parenting in and of itself is a big deal. Period. Throw in autism or really anything else and it just seems that much harder. I have tried to imagine what life without autism would be like, to have two typically developing little boys. Little league, scouts,...boy stuff. Then it hit me, why can't Luke do those things too? I am doing the very thing that I don't want others to do-limit his opportunities based on a diagnosis. Shame on me. Maybe he will, maybe not. Just have to wait and see. And before Luke came along, I still had Nathan, my precious little boy without autism, and you know, we faced plenty of challenges with him and still do. What makes me think that life without autism would somehow be challenge free? The challenges are different, some more difficult than others, but they are still there. Everyone has "something" to deal with. Autism just happens to be our "something."
The adversity that comes along with autism can be overwhelming. Some children are more affected than others. Some deal with social issues, some with behavioral problems, some with communication deficits, and some with all of the above. It is a spectrum disorder and a big spectrum it is. Luke's primary problem is his deficit with expressive communication. In school terms, Luke is a very compliant little boy. He is very receptive and understands so much, he just has trouble getting it out. We know many others on the autism road with us who have many more hurdles to go through. There was a time that I felt guilty for even thinking that our lives were tough. I saw too many other children fighting this disorder with seemingly more obstacles ahead. A sweet lady who had been in my shoes many years before told me this as I expressed my guilt to her: "Let's say you have a broken arm. You go to the ER and see another person with two broken arms. You think 'wow, they really have it bad.' Yes, they may have it bad and have a harder time than you but it doesn't mean that your broken arm doesn't hurt." I hope that makes sense. It did to me. There are those who are dealing with more difficult situations, but it doesn't mean that ours doesn't hurt too.
So, as I think about our "tough" life I realize how blessed I am. I am not trying to minimize anything and act like I have it all figured out. I just know Who is in control. Life is hard and, on this side of heaven, it will always be. I, unlike Moses, have the whole story. I may be walking in unknown territory but I know the faithfulness of God. He is true to His Word. He has revealed Himself to me and my family through the trials that we have faced. I know that I am not alone. God has given me so much to be thankful for- faith, family, life...He is changing my "Are you sure God?" to "God, I am still scared. Show me what to do. I can't do this on my own." Dependence on God is a very liberating thing. Some may say that I am using God as a crutch. You know, I do lean on Him. He never fails. I can tell you that He is the Rock on which I stand. Without Him, I have no hope. I am so thankful that He doesn't give me blessings according to my abilities or lack thereof. I would have none. He is a very gracious and loving God. That is one thing I know more and more about with every passing day.
Like I said in the beginning, this probably sounds all over the place. Sometimes it is hard to organize everything going on in my head. I hope this makes some sort of sense. All I know is that I am tired and my head feels a little less crowded now. Going to listen to tropical storm Lee pour it's torrential rain on us and call it a night. :-)
When this diagnosis became a part of our family, I never really felt compelled to cry out to God "why Luke, why us?" I am not saying that to pat myself on the back. Not at all. When my questions finally came, they were more like "Are you sure God? This is scary. You think Roger and I can handle this?" Maybe a little like Moses. (Yes, I know it is a stretch.) I can just hear him say "God, are you sure you want ME to lead your people out of captivity? But, I have this speech problem." I know Roger and I don't have to lead throngs of people to the Promised Land but the task we face seems monumental. Our goal is not to "fix" Luke because he is not broken. Autism is just apart of who he is. We want to help him learn and grow into the little boy God created him to be.
Parenting in and of itself is a big deal. Period. Throw in autism or really anything else and it just seems that much harder. I have tried to imagine what life without autism would be like, to have two typically developing little boys. Little league, scouts,...boy stuff. Then it hit me, why can't Luke do those things too? I am doing the very thing that I don't want others to do-limit his opportunities based on a diagnosis. Shame on me. Maybe he will, maybe not. Just have to wait and see. And before Luke came along, I still had Nathan, my precious little boy without autism, and you know, we faced plenty of challenges with him and still do. What makes me think that life without autism would somehow be challenge free? The challenges are different, some more difficult than others, but they are still there. Everyone has "something" to deal with. Autism just happens to be our "something."
The adversity that comes along with autism can be overwhelming. Some children are more affected than others. Some deal with social issues, some with behavioral problems, some with communication deficits, and some with all of the above. It is a spectrum disorder and a big spectrum it is. Luke's primary problem is his deficit with expressive communication. In school terms, Luke is a very compliant little boy. He is very receptive and understands so much, he just has trouble getting it out. We know many others on the autism road with us who have many more hurdles to go through. There was a time that I felt guilty for even thinking that our lives were tough. I saw too many other children fighting this disorder with seemingly more obstacles ahead. A sweet lady who had been in my shoes many years before told me this as I expressed my guilt to her: "Let's say you have a broken arm. You go to the ER and see another person with two broken arms. You think 'wow, they really have it bad.' Yes, they may have it bad and have a harder time than you but it doesn't mean that your broken arm doesn't hurt." I hope that makes sense. It did to me. There are those who are dealing with more difficult situations, but it doesn't mean that ours doesn't hurt too.
So, as I think about our "tough" life I realize how blessed I am. I am not trying to minimize anything and act like I have it all figured out. I just know Who is in control. Life is hard and, on this side of heaven, it will always be. I, unlike Moses, have the whole story. I may be walking in unknown territory but I know the faithfulness of God. He is true to His Word. He has revealed Himself to me and my family through the trials that we have faced. I know that I am not alone. God has given me so much to be thankful for- faith, family, life...He is changing my "Are you sure God?" to "God, I am still scared. Show me what to do. I can't do this on my own." Dependence on God is a very liberating thing. Some may say that I am using God as a crutch. You know, I do lean on Him. He never fails. I can tell you that He is the Rock on which I stand. Without Him, I have no hope. I am so thankful that He doesn't give me blessings according to my abilities or lack thereof. I would have none. He is a very gracious and loving God. That is one thing I know more and more about with every passing day.
Like I said in the beginning, this probably sounds all over the place. Sometimes it is hard to organize everything going on in my head. I hope this makes some sort of sense. All I know is that I am tired and my head feels a little less crowded now. Going to listen to tropical storm Lee pour it's torrential rain on us and call it a night. :-)
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Our first year with autism
A year ago today, autism became a part of our family. Of course, it's not like all of the sudden Luke had autism. We had been suspecting it for a few months. It just became official that day. August 23, 2010 was when it became real. It is hard to believe that a year has already passed. So much has happened.
A year ago, Luke was a vocal little boy but his speech was mostly unintelligible. He had a handful of word approximations like "bu" for bubbles and "da" for daddy. Because of his communication deficits, there were many tantrums and occasional meltdowns. There was growing frustration for everyone in the family. We didn't know how to handle it. Over the past year, his communication has greatly improved. He can use a few simple signs and he has so many word approximations that I have lost count! Even for those who are not around him often, if paying attention to the context of the situation when he is vocal, many can understand him! He has even put two words together-not often, but it is emerging! (My favorite is "chi chee" for chili cheese corn chips.) With an increase in his communication skills have come a decrease in his behavioral problems. Of course, he is a 3 year old so there are still tantrums on occasion but all-out meltdowns are few and far between. This is a huge praise!
A year ago, Luke was content in class or nursery at church but he didn't really interact with others. He preferred to stay to himself. Now, he is engaged in what is going on around him. He takes part in class activities. He is part of the group. Most of the time, he is a happy little guy. I have even seen him show empathy which kids with autism just don't do (or so I thought from all the reading I had done). He saw a little boy fall at the playground and start crying. Luke couldn't take his eyes off of him. He made a sad face and whimpered as he pointed to the boy. I reassured him that the little boy was ok. It was like he had to make sure of that. It was so sweet and so encouraging. He is so aware of what is going on! He even tries to initiate play with others on rare occasions. And now, he plays with his brother more at home and is often seen imitating him in play. This is so fun to watch!
A year ago, Luke really didn't make eye contact and he often wouldn't respond when his name was called. Now, not only does he make great eye contact, he smiles and greets people - even strangers. He waves and says "bye" when leaving church or school. He more consistently responds when someone calls his name. He has become my social butterfly of sorts. I love it!
A year ago, my life changed in a big way, not only mine but that of every member of my family. So many challenges. So many questions. "How do we do this?" ran through my head many times. Roger and I were scared and many times felt lonely. "Who understands what we are going through?" We know that God has been with us and that He understands. He has never left us, just as He promised in His Word. But something about having a diagnosis can bring on a sense of isolation. There were times it felt like no one understood what we were dealing with. Over the past year, God has opened so many doors. He has brought many amazing people into our lives. The early intervention occupational therapist and speech therapist were wonderful and Luke responded so well to them. The teachers and staff at Goodwill Easter Seals Child Development Center were terrific with him. They were exactly what he needed (and I did too)! They taught Luke and our family so much. Now, he is at a new school for kids on the autism spectrum. He has a fantastic teacher that he likes and to which he responds. I know we will all be learning a lot from them this year (weekly parent training sessions start this week!). Of course, I cannot forget the precious children and families we have met and befriended who are on the autism journey along side us. These are people we may have never known had autism not come into our lives. We understand each other. The struggles, the victories. We get it. Autism has bonded us in a special way. We are blessed because they are in our lives.
So, we are not celebrating this one year anniversay with cake or candles or balloons. Not that kind of anniversary. This year, we are celebrating with thankfulness. Thankful that God has been with us and has gone before us down this road. His grace truly is sufficient. Thankful that, along the way, we have seen the victories in seemingly small things (but the small things are big) among the challenges. Thankful that we are not alone and we know this. God is with us and so is a community of people who cheer and cry with us because they are going through it too. We are blessed to have a very supportive family who have been with us every step of the way. We have so many who lift us up in prayer as well and I certainly am thankful for them because if we need anything, it's prayer. Prayer for wisdom, direction, progress; Luke's teachers, his doctors; our patience,our strength; Nathan and understanding...the list goes on. God has been so gracious to us. Luke is a blessing and we are learning so much about him, about God, and about life because of this road we are on. I am thankful for that. It's progress for all of us. And I am thankful for hope. Thank you God for hope.
A year ago, Luke was a vocal little boy but his speech was mostly unintelligible. He had a handful of word approximations like "bu" for bubbles and "da" for daddy. Because of his communication deficits, there were many tantrums and occasional meltdowns. There was growing frustration for everyone in the family. We didn't know how to handle it. Over the past year, his communication has greatly improved. He can use a few simple signs and he has so many word approximations that I have lost count! Even for those who are not around him often, if paying attention to the context of the situation when he is vocal, many can understand him! He has even put two words together-not often, but it is emerging! (My favorite is "chi chee" for chili cheese corn chips.) With an increase in his communication skills have come a decrease in his behavioral problems. Of course, he is a 3 year old so there are still tantrums on occasion but all-out meltdowns are few and far between. This is a huge praise!
A year ago, Luke was content in class or nursery at church but he didn't really interact with others. He preferred to stay to himself. Now, he is engaged in what is going on around him. He takes part in class activities. He is part of the group. Most of the time, he is a happy little guy. I have even seen him show empathy which kids with autism just don't do (or so I thought from all the reading I had done). He saw a little boy fall at the playground and start crying. Luke couldn't take his eyes off of him. He made a sad face and whimpered as he pointed to the boy. I reassured him that the little boy was ok. It was like he had to make sure of that. It was so sweet and so encouraging. He is so aware of what is going on! He even tries to initiate play with others on rare occasions. And now, he plays with his brother more at home and is often seen imitating him in play. This is so fun to watch!
A year ago, Luke really didn't make eye contact and he often wouldn't respond when his name was called. Now, not only does he make great eye contact, he smiles and greets people - even strangers. He waves and says "bye" when leaving church or school. He more consistently responds when someone calls his name. He has become my social butterfly of sorts. I love it!
A year ago, my life changed in a big way, not only mine but that of every member of my family. So many challenges. So many questions. "How do we do this?" ran through my head many times. Roger and I were scared and many times felt lonely. "Who understands what we are going through?" We know that God has been with us and that He understands. He has never left us, just as He promised in His Word. But something about having a diagnosis can bring on a sense of isolation. There were times it felt like no one understood what we were dealing with. Over the past year, God has opened so many doors. He has brought many amazing people into our lives. The early intervention occupational therapist and speech therapist were wonderful and Luke responded so well to them. The teachers and staff at Goodwill Easter Seals Child Development Center were terrific with him. They were exactly what he needed (and I did too)! They taught Luke and our family so much. Now, he is at a new school for kids on the autism spectrum. He has a fantastic teacher that he likes and to which he responds. I know we will all be learning a lot from them this year (weekly parent training sessions start this week!). Of course, I cannot forget the precious children and families we have met and befriended who are on the autism journey along side us. These are people we may have never known had autism not come into our lives. We understand each other. The struggles, the victories. We get it. Autism has bonded us in a special way. We are blessed because they are in our lives.
So, we are not celebrating this one year anniversay with cake or candles or balloons. Not that kind of anniversary. This year, we are celebrating with thankfulness. Thankful that God has been with us and has gone before us down this road. His grace truly is sufficient. Thankful that, along the way, we have seen the victories in seemingly small things (but the small things are big) among the challenges. Thankful that we are not alone and we know this. God is with us and so is a community of people who cheer and cry with us because they are going through it too. We are blessed to have a very supportive family who have been with us every step of the way. We have so many who lift us up in prayer as well and I certainly am thankful for them because if we need anything, it's prayer. Prayer for wisdom, direction, progress; Luke's teachers, his doctors; our patience,our strength; Nathan and understanding...the list goes on. God has been so gracious to us. Luke is a blessing and we are learning so much about him, about God, and about life because of this road we are on. I am thankful for that. It's progress for all of us. And I am thankful for hope. Thank you God for hope.
Friday, August 19, 2011
Taking a breath...and advice
The past couple of weeks have gone by like a whirlwind. They have been filled with fun, excitement, lots of activity, and lots of change. They have been both refreshing and exhausting. Now, it's Friday. I feel like I can take a breath. And thanks to the grandparents, who wanted the boys to come over for the night, I have time to write about it.
Last week, we were fortunate to take a family vacation to Orange Beach. I had been looking forward to it all summer as we were in need of a getaway to rest and recharge. We had a wonderful time. The weather was nice and the view from our 11th floor condo at Caribe was beautiful. Until this year, the sand and saltwater didn't really appeal to the boys. They would much rather play at the pool which was okay too. On this trip, they truly enjoyed the beach. They loved playing in the sand and splashing in the waves. It was great to see them have so much fun together. My in-laws came with us this year. It was such a blessing. Not only did Roger and I enjoy their company, but we were also fortunate enough to enjoy a night out because of their help with the little ones. A vacation with small children is so nice but not necessarily relaxing so it was especially nice to have that time with Roger. It was hard to come home...but, we did. Home from vacation on Friday, attempt at recovery from vacation over the weekend, then first day of school for Luke on Monday. Whew! What was I thinking?
So, Monday rolled around and Luke started his new preschool, The Little Tree. I am thrilled to report that he had a phenomenal first day! He was happy, friendly, and didn't even have a single tee-tee accident! No tears either - from him or me! (For those who know me well, this may come as a surprise - not that he didn't cry but that I didn't!). Nathan and I had a couple of days together and enjoyed them completely. Then, Wednesday rolled around. Nathan's first day of Kindergarten. I walked him to the door of his classroom. He smiled with the teacher so I could get a picture, then he went in and started his day. Okay, this was hard for me. But, I sucked it up - no tears - and went home, not quite sure what to do with myself. I wanted to hang out at the school for a while...maybe make copies or cut out shapes or something...for any teacher...just to be there...kinda check in from time to time. Pitiful! My little guy, who usually has a hard time separating from me, did great! I was the one having the hard time. I had just talked to him about being brave and having courage and that God was with him. Now, I was having to repeat those words to myself! I survived the day and was so anxious to pick him up. He was all smiles when he got in the car. I am thrilled to report that he had a great first day too! He had a shakey start on Thursday, with a few tears, but today, he bravely got out at the carpool line and went in without me! Yea!!! and boo-hoo!!! That was a big step for him today. I guess it was for me too. He is getting to be such a big boy! I was so proud of him and he was proud of himself too!
I can't help but smile as I think about Nathan as he carried on a pretend conversation on his play phone in the car to Luke ( as Luke was still at school). He was speaking quietly so I didn't let on that I was listening to him. He said "Lukey, is school okay? Don't worry. Be brave. God is with you." That brought a big smile to my face, and tears too. It was so sweet. He is listening. Maybe he is taking it to heart.
So, here I am at the end of this busy week, well, couple of weeks really. I am sitting, breathing, and trying to collect my thoughts. Life is happening so fast. I don't want to miss anything. So many memories have been made over these last two weeks. Big moments in my sons' lives. Am I ready for all of this? I don't know...I hope so...one day at a time. Maybe I too will take that advice and not worry but be brave. I know God is with me. I can rest on that without a doubt.
Last week, we were fortunate to take a family vacation to Orange Beach. I had been looking forward to it all summer as we were in need of a getaway to rest and recharge. We had a wonderful time. The weather was nice and the view from our 11th floor condo at Caribe was beautiful. Until this year, the sand and saltwater didn't really appeal to the boys. They would much rather play at the pool which was okay too. On this trip, they truly enjoyed the beach. They loved playing in the sand and splashing in the waves. It was great to see them have so much fun together. My in-laws came with us this year. It was such a blessing. Not only did Roger and I enjoy their company, but we were also fortunate enough to enjoy a night out because of their help with the little ones. A vacation with small children is so nice but not necessarily relaxing so it was especially nice to have that time with Roger. It was hard to come home...but, we did. Home from vacation on Friday, attempt at recovery from vacation over the weekend, then first day of school for Luke on Monday. Whew! What was I thinking?
So, Monday rolled around and Luke started his new preschool, The Little Tree. I am thrilled to report that he had a phenomenal first day! He was happy, friendly, and didn't even have a single tee-tee accident! No tears either - from him or me! (For those who know me well, this may come as a surprise - not that he didn't cry but that I didn't!). Nathan and I had a couple of days together and enjoyed them completely. Then, Wednesday rolled around. Nathan's first day of Kindergarten. I walked him to the door of his classroom. He smiled with the teacher so I could get a picture, then he went in and started his day. Okay, this was hard for me. But, I sucked it up - no tears - and went home, not quite sure what to do with myself. I wanted to hang out at the school for a while...maybe make copies or cut out shapes or something...for any teacher...just to be there...kinda check in from time to time. Pitiful! My little guy, who usually has a hard time separating from me, did great! I was the one having the hard time. I had just talked to him about being brave and having courage and that God was with him. Now, I was having to repeat those words to myself! I survived the day and was so anxious to pick him up. He was all smiles when he got in the car. I am thrilled to report that he had a great first day too! He had a shakey start on Thursday, with a few tears, but today, he bravely got out at the carpool line and went in without me! Yea!!! and boo-hoo!!! That was a big step for him today. I guess it was for me too. He is getting to be such a big boy! I was so proud of him and he was proud of himself too!
I can't help but smile as I think about Nathan as he carried on a pretend conversation on his play phone in the car to Luke ( as Luke was still at school). He was speaking quietly so I didn't let on that I was listening to him. He said "Lukey, is school okay? Don't worry. Be brave. God is with you." That brought a big smile to my face, and tears too. It was so sweet. He is listening. Maybe he is taking it to heart.
So, here I am at the end of this busy week, well, couple of weeks really. I am sitting, breathing, and trying to collect my thoughts. Life is happening so fast. I don't want to miss anything. So many memories have been made over these last two weeks. Big moments in my sons' lives. Am I ready for all of this? I don't know...I hope so...one day at a time. Maybe I too will take that advice and not worry but be brave. I know God is with me. I can rest on that without a doubt.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Until Later.....
This is an emotional week for me. Yes, I know, most weeks are emotional weeks for me. But this week happens to be Luke's last at the Goodwill Easter Seals Child Devolopment Center (GESCDC). I might as well bring the tissue with me on Friday because I am sure I will cry...sniff, sniff. It is so hard to say goodbye, especially to people who have been such a big part of my family's life.
It was in November of 2010 that I received a call for the director (Anne) that a spot had become available for Luke at this school. It couldn't have come at a better time. Roger and I were both at our wit's end trying to figure out this autism thing and how to help Luke. We didn't know how to handle the screaming and the meltdowns. It was stressful to say the least. We were so excited that he could be in a program that could help him. Not only did it help Luke, it helped our family as well.
He began the program on November 29, 2010. (He didn't cry at drop off, but I did!) This was a big step for him and for me. I didn't know what to expect. How would he do? Transitions can be very difficult for kids with autism. He completely surprised me and transitioned remarkably well. In fact, the first day, he went into his class with a smile and every day since then has been the same. He loves the people there. They are an integral part of his life. Under their instruction and care, Luke has made great progress. His communication skills have improved. He has many more word approximations in his vocabulary, he uses simple signs more consistently to indicate his needs, and he is engaged in what is going on around him. He can recognize his name and match numbers. He is even making progress with potty training! (Ms. April is awesome!) The list goes on and on...not to forget the wonderful friends we have made along the way. I credit his success to God and the amazing people He has used to teach Luke. (Thank you Ms. Maria, Ms Toni, Ms. April). They are all special to me.
Over these months, I have grown to love the people who work there. The director, teachers, and assistants have all been nothing less than wonderfulThey have been supportive, encouraging, and informative. There have been days when I just looked like I needed a hug and was met with open arms(Thanks Anne!). They are like family. Their work is priceless. Not only are they good at what they do, they are also invested in the children. They really care. (Thank you Ms. Mickie, Ms. Toni). They look at these children with disabilities and see them first as children, not disabilities. They face challenges every day they go to work but they press on and are dedicated to their work and their children. I respect them so much for what they do.
But even more importantly, they have been so good to my little guy Luke. He loves going there. He is greeted with smiles each morning and, on most mornings, he flashes those sweet dimples and smiles back. (Thanks Ms. Diane, Ms. Eleanor, Ms. Bobbi, Ms. Jodi, Ms. Christy!) It is such a comfort to know your child is in good hands. He has been in great hands.
As this chapter comes to an end and a new one will soon begin, I look back with gratitude and look forward with hope. Thankful for progress already made and expectant of the progress that is to come. I am so thankful for the GESCDC and I will be forever grateful for the care they have given Luke. I know that he will miss them. I will miss them too! So, I won't say good-bye. I will just say..."until later."
It was in November of 2010 that I received a call for the director (Anne) that a spot had become available for Luke at this school. It couldn't have come at a better time. Roger and I were both at our wit's end trying to figure out this autism thing and how to help Luke. We didn't know how to handle the screaming and the meltdowns. It was stressful to say the least. We were so excited that he could be in a program that could help him. Not only did it help Luke, it helped our family as well.
He began the program on November 29, 2010. (He didn't cry at drop off, but I did!) This was a big step for him and for me. I didn't know what to expect. How would he do? Transitions can be very difficult for kids with autism. He completely surprised me and transitioned remarkably well. In fact, the first day, he went into his class with a smile and every day since then has been the same. He loves the people there. They are an integral part of his life. Under their instruction and care, Luke has made great progress. His communication skills have improved. He has many more word approximations in his vocabulary, he uses simple signs more consistently to indicate his needs, and he is engaged in what is going on around him. He can recognize his name and match numbers. He is even making progress with potty training! (Ms. April is awesome!) The list goes on and on...not to forget the wonderful friends we have made along the way. I credit his success to God and the amazing people He has used to teach Luke. (Thank you Ms. Maria, Ms Toni, Ms. April). They are all special to me.
Over these months, I have grown to love the people who work there. The director, teachers, and assistants have all been nothing less than wonderfulThey have been supportive, encouraging, and informative. There have been days when I just looked like I needed a hug and was met with open arms(Thanks Anne!). They are like family. Their work is priceless. Not only are they good at what they do, they are also invested in the children. They really care. (Thank you Ms. Mickie, Ms. Toni). They look at these children with disabilities and see them first as children, not disabilities. They face challenges every day they go to work but they press on and are dedicated to their work and their children. I respect them so much for what they do.
But even more importantly, they have been so good to my little guy Luke. He loves going there. He is greeted with smiles each morning and, on most mornings, he flashes those sweet dimples and smiles back. (Thanks Ms. Diane, Ms. Eleanor, Ms. Bobbi, Ms. Jodi, Ms. Christy!) It is such a comfort to know your child is in good hands. He has been in great hands.
As this chapter comes to an end and a new one will soon begin, I look back with gratitude and look forward with hope. Thankful for progress already made and expectant of the progress that is to come. I am so thankful for the GESCDC and I will be forever grateful for the care they have given Luke. I know that he will miss them. I will miss them too! So, I won't say good-bye. I will just say..."until later."
Monday, July 11, 2011
Not a statistic
I never liked Statistics in college. It was a class I struggled with but managed to get through with a passing grade. It was probably my least favorite class. My kind of stats are "4 out of 5 dentists prefer (toothpaste)." I can understand that. If only it was that easy.
Roger and I have been to a few seminars and conferences about autism over the past year. They give lots of statistics at those too. Stats like "30-50 percent of children with autism are mentally retarded." I don't want to hear that. This one is no fun to hear either: "families that have a special needs child have an 80 percent divorce rate." It is a sad statistic but I understand how it can happen.
Over the past year, we have grieved over our son who will face many challenges ahead. Many tears have been shed. We have researched autism until almost crazy, wondering if we are doing enough to help Luke while trying to balance the needs of our 5 year old, Nathan. We are trying to figure out how to prevent Nathan from resenting Luke for the attention he receives because of autism. We go to doctors and school. We have had therapy in our home. And then there is just life. Since autism has become part of our vocabulary, we have been busy. I am not saying all this to whine. Almost every one I know is busy with something. But, our busy-ness has consumed us in many ways. All too often, our days have just been about survival. Just making it until the kids went to bed was the goal, then we could collapse and try to get rest before starting it all over again. Our conversations were more and more about the boys and less and less about us. Somewhere along the way, we lost our focus. We were heading in the same direction, wanting the same thing for our boys, but they were becoming the priority.
The last couple of weeks have been difficult but good. Kind of an "evaluation" of our marriage. There has been much giving and forgiving. Much grace has been shown to me by my sweet Roger. I have been humbled and in awe of how God works. What could have been a hard time for us has been what has driven us together. Our commitment to each other and our family is as strong as ever. We have devoted time for each other every night after the boys are in bed. I haven't had time to blog because I have been spending time with my husband! It has been wonderful! We have been praying together, reading together, talking to each other ( about things other than the boys), and remembering all over again how and why we fell in love 12 years ago. These are things we should have been doing all along the way but, again, we had become complacent. We took each other for granted. We have been distracted and have neglected us. It is scary how easily that can happen.
Now, we are commited to the priority of "us." By the grace of God, we will not be a statistic. Our boys are still a priority, without a doubt. But, one of the best things we can do for them is be strong in our faith and our commitment to each other so that we can be what we need to be for each other and, thus, be what we need to be for them. I am so thankful that God has blessed me with Roger and the boys. They are truly gifts from Him. We have certainly not done things perfectly here. I pray that God receives all the glory from the good that will come from the messes I have made. I know His Word to be true so I can lean on Romans 8:28 and know that He will!
Romans 8:28 : "For we know that all things work together for good to those who love god, to those who are called according to His purpose."
Roger and I have been to a few seminars and conferences about autism over the past year. They give lots of statistics at those too. Stats like "30-50 percent of children with autism are mentally retarded." I don't want to hear that. This one is no fun to hear either: "families that have a special needs child have an 80 percent divorce rate." It is a sad statistic but I understand how it can happen.
Over the past year, we have grieved over our son who will face many challenges ahead. Many tears have been shed. We have researched autism until almost crazy, wondering if we are doing enough to help Luke while trying to balance the needs of our 5 year old, Nathan. We are trying to figure out how to prevent Nathan from resenting Luke for the attention he receives because of autism. We go to doctors and school. We have had therapy in our home. And then there is just life. Since autism has become part of our vocabulary, we have been busy. I am not saying all this to whine. Almost every one I know is busy with something. But, our busy-ness has consumed us in many ways. All too often, our days have just been about survival. Just making it until the kids went to bed was the goal, then we could collapse and try to get rest before starting it all over again. Our conversations were more and more about the boys and less and less about us. Somewhere along the way, we lost our focus. We were heading in the same direction, wanting the same thing for our boys, but they were becoming the priority.
The last couple of weeks have been difficult but good. Kind of an "evaluation" of our marriage. There has been much giving and forgiving. Much grace has been shown to me by my sweet Roger. I have been humbled and in awe of how God works. What could have been a hard time for us has been what has driven us together. Our commitment to each other and our family is as strong as ever. We have devoted time for each other every night after the boys are in bed. I haven't had time to blog because I have been spending time with my husband! It has been wonderful! We have been praying together, reading together, talking to each other ( about things other than the boys), and remembering all over again how and why we fell in love 12 years ago. These are things we should have been doing all along the way but, again, we had become complacent. We took each other for granted. We have been distracted and have neglected us. It is scary how easily that can happen.
Now, we are commited to the priority of "us." By the grace of God, we will not be a statistic. Our boys are still a priority, without a doubt. But, one of the best things we can do for them is be strong in our faith and our commitment to each other so that we can be what we need to be for each other and, thus, be what we need to be for them. I am so thankful that God has blessed me with Roger and the boys. They are truly gifts from Him. We have certainly not done things perfectly here. I pray that God receives all the glory from the good that will come from the messes I have made. I know His Word to be true so I can lean on Romans 8:28 and know that He will!
Romans 8:28 : "For we know that all things work together for good to those who love god, to those who are called according to His purpose."
Friday, June 17, 2011
Bring on the noise
I will be the first to admit that I love quiet time. Who doesn't? My house is a noisy one and quiet is too often hard to find. So, when the opportunity for a little time of peace comes my way, I usually take it - for the sake of my sanity.
This week was especially nice. My parents, aka "the reinforcements", were in town. When they visit, the boys usually spend a night with them. This is so nice because it gives Roger and I an opportunity for a date night. It is such a blessing to have this opportunity. Well, on this visit, the boys spent two nights this week with Nana and Papa. I am not sure if it was because they wanted to spend some extra time with the boys or they could see "exhausted" written all over me. Maybe a combination of both. They asked for a second night and we didn't fight it. I mean, who would we be to deny grandparents the joy of spending quality time with their only grandkids?
So, do I sound horrible yet? You might say "How could someone get so excited about their kids being away?" I love my boys with all of my heart and miss them when we are apart but, it is because of those times apart - quiet times - that I can better manage the noise and all that comes with it. I was able to enjoy time with Roger, catch up on a few things and get a little extra (much needed) rest. I am not exaggerating when I say it was like a mini-vacation :-) I am so thankful for this respite. So many families don't have this kind of opportunity. I don't take it for granted.
So, this morning, when the boys came through the door, I was ready with a big smile and open arms. And open ears. For any of you who know Nathan, you know he is often shy around others but I promise you, the boy can talk...a lot. (I can't imagine who he gets that from.) He is quite the thinker and I am pretty sure I have heard every thought. I am thankful for that. I always want him to be able to talk to me. And then there is Luke. He still may be considered nonverbal but he can make some noise. We still have some issues with screaming but it is getting better. More and more word approximations are coming out of his sweet little mouth. He takes in everything that is going on around him and it is starting to come out in sounds that I can understand. On the way home from school, he was pointing out of the window and saying "chees" over and over as he looked at the trees. This evening, he took me by the hand over to the bookshelf and wanted me to sit on the floor with him and look at books. He pointed to a clock and said "ca"...a duck and said "cack" for quack...blocks and said "ba"...blue and said "boo"...bed and said "be"...cookie and said "cook". He pretended to shut the gate (by slapping his hand on it) in a picture in one of his favorite farm books. To top it off, he led me to the snack cabinet and said "pop" which, in this case meant popcorn (it means popsicle when he goes to the fridge). He wanted popcorn and asked for it by name! This is huge! It may not sound like much but it is music to my ears! His communication is getting better with every passing week.
The world of autism can be a quiet one for many, and a lonely one. So many kids are nonverbal and never speak at all. For me to get to hear these "words" is such a blessing. I am blessed to have this noise fill my home. Of course, there are days when I am frazzled and cannot hear myself think. But, there are days of laughter and squeals of joy and new words. So, when the peaceful times present themselves to me, I snatch them up and simply enjoy them while they are there. But when it gets a little noisy, I have to remember that with the noise, comes learning and language and opportunity, and that is a great thing. I may love the quiet, but I really love progress! And I love these boys! I thank God for them for they are truly gifts from Him.
This week was especially nice. My parents, aka "the reinforcements", were in town. When they visit, the boys usually spend a night with them. This is so nice because it gives Roger and I an opportunity for a date night. It is such a blessing to have this opportunity. Well, on this visit, the boys spent two nights this week with Nana and Papa. I am not sure if it was because they wanted to spend some extra time with the boys or they could see "exhausted" written all over me. Maybe a combination of both. They asked for a second night and we didn't fight it. I mean, who would we be to deny grandparents the joy of spending quality time with their only grandkids?
So, do I sound horrible yet? You might say "How could someone get so excited about their kids being away?" I love my boys with all of my heart and miss them when we are apart but, it is because of those times apart - quiet times - that I can better manage the noise and all that comes with it. I was able to enjoy time with Roger, catch up on a few things and get a little extra (much needed) rest. I am not exaggerating when I say it was like a mini-vacation :-) I am so thankful for this respite. So many families don't have this kind of opportunity. I don't take it for granted.
So, this morning, when the boys came through the door, I was ready with a big smile and open arms. And open ears. For any of you who know Nathan, you know he is often shy around others but I promise you, the boy can talk...a lot. (I can't imagine who he gets that from.) He is quite the thinker and I am pretty sure I have heard every thought. I am thankful for that. I always want him to be able to talk to me. And then there is Luke. He still may be considered nonverbal but he can make some noise. We still have some issues with screaming but it is getting better. More and more word approximations are coming out of his sweet little mouth. He takes in everything that is going on around him and it is starting to come out in sounds that I can understand. On the way home from school, he was pointing out of the window and saying "chees" over and over as he looked at the trees. This evening, he took me by the hand over to the bookshelf and wanted me to sit on the floor with him and look at books. He pointed to a clock and said "ca"...a duck and said "cack" for quack...blocks and said "ba"...blue and said "boo"...bed and said "be"...cookie and said "cook". He pretended to shut the gate (by slapping his hand on it) in a picture in one of his favorite farm books. To top it off, he led me to the snack cabinet and said "pop" which, in this case meant popcorn (it means popsicle when he goes to the fridge). He wanted popcorn and asked for it by name! This is huge! It may not sound like much but it is music to my ears! His communication is getting better with every passing week.
The world of autism can be a quiet one for many, and a lonely one. So many kids are nonverbal and never speak at all. For me to get to hear these "words" is such a blessing. I am blessed to have this noise fill my home. Of course, there are days when I am frazzled and cannot hear myself think. But, there are days of laughter and squeals of joy and new words. So, when the peaceful times present themselves to me, I snatch them up and simply enjoy them while they are there. But when it gets a little noisy, I have to remember that with the noise, comes learning and language and opportunity, and that is a great thing. I may love the quiet, but I really love progress! And I love these boys! I thank God for them for they are truly gifts from Him.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Do what I do
"I really like you Lukey. You are my best buddy I think. Just keep watching me and do what I do. You'll grow up to be a great little guy." Those words brought a big smile to my face this afternoon. Definitely worthy of a Facebook post. Even worthy of a blog post.
Nathan and Luke have played all day long (would love to say they got along all day too but that is another story). Lots of fun. Some fussing too. Everywhere Nathan went, Luke was close behind doing the same thing. He was his big brother's shadow. Up the ladder...down the slide into the pool...run across backyard...jump on mini tramp...slide into the dirt...run back across yard...jump into pool...repeat. You get the idea. It was predictable. It was fun to watch them finally play together (that is, after fussing about who would go first down the slide.)
Nathan took it upon himself to be Luke's teacher today, and, for the most part, Luke was a pretty good student. All afternoon, it was "Luke, walk on your tip toes...bounce the ball...follow me...jump like this...say choo-choo." Nathan gave frequent progress reports too. "Mommy, Luke bounced the ball just like me...Luke said choo-choo..." It was fun to listen in as Nathan gave Luke advice too. "Luke, it is important to exercise and you have to eat right if you want to be healthy. You know, like eating healthy chips.". (BTW, we DO eat fruits and veggies!)
What was simple, but great to see, was Luke imitating his brother. He was learning from him. He is learning and growing and living. (Thank you God for that!) He understands so much and it is good to see him respond to us. Even when discipline was required (for both of them!) when they were doing something unacceptable, I could tell when Luke knew when he was doing something he shouldn't. He is learning what he can do and what he is not supposed to do. He is very receptive and very teachable (and so completely lovable!). He gets excited when he learns something new. I love to see that! It is another piece of the puzzle that is being unlocked as we learn more and more about him. It is progress. I love progress!
(As a side note, I started to think about how we all have learned at some point by imitating someone or something. Caused me to consider who/what I have been imitating. What kind of example am I giving my boys to imitate? Can I say, like Paul, "imitate me as I imitate Christ"? Ouch. Convicting...)
Nathan and Luke have played all day long (would love to say they got along all day too but that is another story). Lots of fun. Some fussing too. Everywhere Nathan went, Luke was close behind doing the same thing. He was his big brother's shadow. Up the ladder...down the slide into the pool...run across backyard...jump on mini tramp...slide into the dirt...run back across yard...jump into pool...repeat. You get the idea. It was predictable. It was fun to watch them finally play together (that is, after fussing about who would go first down the slide.)
Nathan took it upon himself to be Luke's teacher today, and, for the most part, Luke was a pretty good student. All afternoon, it was "Luke, walk on your tip toes...bounce the ball...follow me...jump like this...say choo-choo." Nathan gave frequent progress reports too. "Mommy, Luke bounced the ball just like me...Luke said choo-choo..." It was fun to listen in as Nathan gave Luke advice too. "Luke, it is important to exercise and you have to eat right if you want to be healthy. You know, like eating healthy chips.". (BTW, we DO eat fruits and veggies!)
What was simple, but great to see, was Luke imitating his brother. He was learning from him. He is learning and growing and living. (Thank you God for that!) He understands so much and it is good to see him respond to us. Even when discipline was required (for both of them!) when they were doing something unacceptable, I could tell when Luke knew when he was doing something he shouldn't. He is learning what he can do and what he is not supposed to do. He is very receptive and very teachable (and so completely lovable!). He gets excited when he learns something new. I love to see that! It is another piece of the puzzle that is being unlocked as we learn more and more about him. It is progress. I love progress!
(As a side note, I started to think about how we all have learned at some point by imitating someone or something. Caused me to consider who/what I have been imitating. What kind of example am I giving my boys to imitate? Can I say, like Paul, "imitate me as I imitate Christ"? Ouch. Convicting...)
Friday, June 3, 2011
Imagine a Life with Autism by Dr. Caroline Gomez and State Senator Cam Ward
Imagine A Life With Autism
By Caroline Gomez, Ph.D, State Autism Coordinator and State Senator Cam Ward
This editorial appeared in the Huntsville Times, Birmingham News, Montgomery Advertiser, Mobile Press Register, and Tuscaloosa News during Autism Awareness Month. We hope it gave outsiders pause and a new lens with which to view autism.
Close your eyes and imagine for a moment that as a child you are woken in the morning after sleeping for only a few hours. Exhaustion. You get out of bed, but have no idea where you are going that day. Anxiety. Someone helps you get dressed, but the tag in the back of your shirt feels like a pin pricking your skin over and over. Discomfort. You sit at the table for breakfast, but can't eat because your feet don't touch the ground and you begin to feel dizzy. Confusion. You ride in the car without knowing where you are going. Distress. You sit in the grocery cart as told, but the fluorescent lights overhead cause your head to begin throbbing. Pain. Now imagine that all of this takes place and you have no way to tell anyone that your are experiencing exhaustion, anxiety, discomfort , confusion, distress, and now intense pain and this was only the first hour of your day. How would you "communicate" your desperate need to get out of that grocery store before your head explodes? It sounds like a nightmare for many of us but it is a living reality for many children.
Children with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) are often living with these and other all-consuming challenges as they simply navigate through the chaos of an hour or a day. They often can't communicate their desperate needs and this creates an unrealistic expectation from many, including the person in a grocery store passing the child with ASD screaming and kicking in a cart while his mother tries desperately to ignore the obvious display of contempt. Many remain unaware that screaming and other socially unacceptable behavior that is witnessed in such a situation is not willful misbehavior. In fact, the child is likely in distress or pain and simply does not know how to communicate or respond appropriately to his overewhelming and confusing world.
ASD is a complex neurological disorder now present in 1 in every 100 children and 1 in every 70 boys in the United States. These children may have keen interests and skills in certain areas but also have significant difficulty communicating and understanding the social rules of our world. In addition, sights, sounds, and touch can be so overwhelming that they have to scream, literally or otherwise, to get our attention and to get the very basic of needs met.
Have you heard the screams, literal or otherwise, loud or quiet? They cannot be ignored when in such great numbers. Are their screams to know or be known, to understand or be understood, to challenge or be challenged, or any or all of the above? The Alabama Interagency Autism Coordinating Council, created by Act#2009-295 the Riley Ward Alabama Autism Support Act of 2009, is working to meet the urgent need for a statewide comprehensive system of care for individuals with ASD and their families. This Council is a collaborative effort of parents, professionals, elected officials and those who are on the autism spectrum. As we work toward a system of care these children are, in fact, our teachers, teaching us patience, compassion, sensitivity, and unconditional love-the most vital lessons of the human condition.
Please visit http://www.autism.alabama.gov/ to learn of the work in progress and how you can participate in this very worthy effort.
By Caroline Gomez, Ph.D, State Autism Coordinator and State Senator Cam Ward
This editorial appeared in the Huntsville Times, Birmingham News, Montgomery Advertiser, Mobile Press Register, and Tuscaloosa News during Autism Awareness Month. We hope it gave outsiders pause and a new lens with which to view autism.
Close your eyes and imagine for a moment that as a child you are woken in the morning after sleeping for only a few hours. Exhaustion. You get out of bed, but have no idea where you are going that day. Anxiety. Someone helps you get dressed, but the tag in the back of your shirt feels like a pin pricking your skin over and over. Discomfort. You sit at the table for breakfast, but can't eat because your feet don't touch the ground and you begin to feel dizzy. Confusion. You ride in the car without knowing where you are going. Distress. You sit in the grocery cart as told, but the fluorescent lights overhead cause your head to begin throbbing. Pain. Now imagine that all of this takes place and you have no way to tell anyone that your are experiencing exhaustion, anxiety, discomfort , confusion, distress, and now intense pain and this was only the first hour of your day. How would you "communicate" your desperate need to get out of that grocery store before your head explodes? It sounds like a nightmare for many of us but it is a living reality for many children.
Children with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) are often living with these and other all-consuming challenges as they simply navigate through the chaos of an hour or a day. They often can't communicate their desperate needs and this creates an unrealistic expectation from many, including the person in a grocery store passing the child with ASD screaming and kicking in a cart while his mother tries desperately to ignore the obvious display of contempt. Many remain unaware that screaming and other socially unacceptable behavior that is witnessed in such a situation is not willful misbehavior. In fact, the child is likely in distress or pain and simply does not know how to communicate or respond appropriately to his overewhelming and confusing world.
ASD is a complex neurological disorder now present in 1 in every 100 children and 1 in every 70 boys in the United States. These children may have keen interests and skills in certain areas but also have significant difficulty communicating and understanding the social rules of our world. In addition, sights, sounds, and touch can be so overwhelming that they have to scream, literally or otherwise, to get our attention and to get the very basic of needs met.
Have you heard the screams, literal or otherwise, loud or quiet? They cannot be ignored when in such great numbers. Are their screams to know or be known, to understand or be understood, to challenge or be challenged, or any or all of the above? The Alabama Interagency Autism Coordinating Council, created by Act#2009-295 the Riley Ward Alabama Autism Support Act of 2009, is working to meet the urgent need for a statewide comprehensive system of care for individuals with ASD and their families. This Council is a collaborative effort of parents, professionals, elected officials and those who are on the autism spectrum. As we work toward a system of care these children are, in fact, our teachers, teaching us patience, compassion, sensitivity, and unconditional love-the most vital lessons of the human condition.
Please visit http://www.autism.alabama.gov/ to learn of the work in progress and how you can participate in this very worthy effort.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Can I get a translator, a referee, and a couple of Advil, please?
The boys and I have had a great few days visiting with family. We still have one more day before heading home. Luke has been out of his routine for several days now. It is starting to show.
Nathan and Luke are early risers. They always have been. But, from the time their little feet hit the floor, I knew it was going to be a long day, in more ways than one. Lots of tears and screaming (Luke, not me). No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't figure out what he was trying to tell me. I only knew he was upset. His screaming wasn't about wanting a toy his brother had. It wasn't about wanting to eat. It wasn't about needing a clean pull up. I had taken care of all of that but he was still upset. I tried using sign language and pointing. Usually, when I ask Luke to "show me," he will take me to what he needs or wants. Nothing helped. Nothing made him happy. He and his brother were acting like brothers and were at odds over everything. Luke was still the one screaming but, by then, I was in tears too.
So, after trying to make the most of a crazy morning, what do I do? Try to take it easy? No. We pile in the car and go to Chick Fil A for lunch. Doesn't that make everything better? It went ok. Just a few stares our way this time. The boys had a little fun in the play area there and it was a relief to have a normal moment in the midst of a not-so-normal day. On the way home, Luke finally crashed. He was tired. We all were tired and naps came easily for the boys (and for myself). No one really fought sleep today. It was much needed and, even if it only helped a little, it still helped. Luke was still out of sorts but the screaming was somewhat better. It then became about getting through a fussy afternoon and making it until bedtime. After lots of playtime, including fun in the kiddie pool and in the newly created mud puddles that were formed by all the splashing, the boys and I made it to bedtime! Woo hoo!
To say that it has been an exhausting, frustrating day is an understatement. It must be so frustrating for Luke. It try to imagine what it is like to try to communicate and have no one understand you. Sometimes, I feel like that and I can speak. How much more difficult for him? It simply breaks my heart for my little guy.
I am so thankful for my family. My mother, especially today, has helped my in a tremendous way just by being here. Both she and my dad are coming to realize the day to day stress that me and my family face right now. We are blessed to have supportive family on both sides that love and pray for us. I personally don't know what I would do without them. My mother (so kind and so brave) is sending me out tomorrow for some "me" time ( aka "mental health" time)and I am terrible excited. Good coffee is in my sights. Maybe work on the blog. Maybe even a movie - no chick flick though. Need something with no emotional highs and lows. Maybe action. Who knows? I am so looking forward to this before heading home on Friday.
I apologize if this post had been a little on the whiny side. It has just been a tough day, physically and emotionally. My words probably don't accurately convey how tough. But, tomorrow is a new day. I lean on the promise that God's mercies are new every morning. They always are, without fail. I know His grace is sufficient for all that He has prepared for me. I am so thankful for these truths! I need reminding of them daily. God, please give me wisdom and strength. I am in need.
Nathan and Luke are early risers. They always have been. But, from the time their little feet hit the floor, I knew it was going to be a long day, in more ways than one. Lots of tears and screaming (Luke, not me). No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't figure out what he was trying to tell me. I only knew he was upset. His screaming wasn't about wanting a toy his brother had. It wasn't about wanting to eat. It wasn't about needing a clean pull up. I had taken care of all of that but he was still upset. I tried using sign language and pointing. Usually, when I ask Luke to "show me," he will take me to what he needs or wants. Nothing helped. Nothing made him happy. He and his brother were acting like brothers and were at odds over everything. Luke was still the one screaming but, by then, I was in tears too.
So, after trying to make the most of a crazy morning, what do I do? Try to take it easy? No. We pile in the car and go to Chick Fil A for lunch. Doesn't that make everything better? It went ok. Just a few stares our way this time. The boys had a little fun in the play area there and it was a relief to have a normal moment in the midst of a not-so-normal day. On the way home, Luke finally crashed. He was tired. We all were tired and naps came easily for the boys (and for myself). No one really fought sleep today. It was much needed and, even if it only helped a little, it still helped. Luke was still out of sorts but the screaming was somewhat better. It then became about getting through a fussy afternoon and making it until bedtime. After lots of playtime, including fun in the kiddie pool and in the newly created mud puddles that were formed by all the splashing, the boys and I made it to bedtime! Woo hoo!
To say that it has been an exhausting, frustrating day is an understatement. It must be so frustrating for Luke. It try to imagine what it is like to try to communicate and have no one understand you. Sometimes, I feel like that and I can speak. How much more difficult for him? It simply breaks my heart for my little guy.
I am so thankful for my family. My mother, especially today, has helped my in a tremendous way just by being here. Both she and my dad are coming to realize the day to day stress that me and my family face right now. We are blessed to have supportive family on both sides that love and pray for us. I personally don't know what I would do without them. My mother (so kind and so brave) is sending me out tomorrow for some "me" time ( aka "mental health" time)and I am terrible excited. Good coffee is in my sights. Maybe work on the blog. Maybe even a movie - no chick flick though. Need something with no emotional highs and lows. Maybe action. Who knows? I am so looking forward to this before heading home on Friday.
I apologize if this post had been a little on the whiny side. It has just been a tough day, physically and emotionally. My words probably don't accurately convey how tough. But, tomorrow is a new day. I lean on the promise that God's mercies are new every morning. They always are, without fail. I know His grace is sufficient for all that He has prepared for me. I am so thankful for these truths! I need reminding of them daily. God, please give me wisdom and strength. I am in need.
Friday, May 27, 2011
I am his voice
Anyone who knows me well knows that I am a behind the scenes gal. That is where I am most comfortable. I would rather write any day than speak to a group. The thought of speaking in front of people, even a small group, is uncomfortable for me. It's funny (or not so funny) that I now find myself out of my comfort zone on a regular basis.
I have to be more vocal for Luke and I have to be heard. Sometimes, I have to be loud. It's not really so much about volume as it is substance. You see, I am a team leader of sorts. I oversee therapy, school, doctor appointments, etc. He has a great team of doctors, teachers and therapists that work with him. It is my responsibility to take the information given to me by the team, learn from it, and try to determine what will help Luke. I have to speak for him and make sure he gets what he needs.
Really, what parent is not the voice of their child, at least for a period of time? I understand that. But now, I am learning a new language. Words like early intervention, sensory processing, applied behavior analysis, structure, and routine. I am familiar with several of these from my background as an occupational therapist. I am learning that because this is not just a patient, but my own child that is dealing with autism, I need to be reeducated in the best treatment methods to help him. The instruction I had in OT school prepared me to work with other people's children, not necessarily my own. There is an emotional component that makes you forget so much of what was previously learned. Having a special needs child gives you a whole new perspective - on everything.
God has been in this every step of the way. He has answered prayers, opened doors, and given us direction. He has a plan in this for Luke and our family. I have a strong faith in the One who made my little boy. Luke can't talk right now but I have high hopes that he will one day. He is starting to use word approximations and he is vocal, just not really intelligible. I pray that God would give me the patience, strength, perseverance, and clarity to say what needs to be said (or written) and be heard with the intent with which it is given. So, it is in faith that I step out of my corner and speak up. I have to say that it is getting a little easier and should continue to with time and circumstance. But, it's not about me. It is about so much more. My little guy is so precious and I want him to get all the services he needs, not just to get by, but to thrive. I think, in speaking up for Luke, I am finding my voice as well. I pray that it is sufficient, for Luke's sake.
I have to be more vocal for Luke and I have to be heard. Sometimes, I have to be loud. It's not really so much about volume as it is substance. You see, I am a team leader of sorts. I oversee therapy, school, doctor appointments, etc. He has a great team of doctors, teachers and therapists that work with him. It is my responsibility to take the information given to me by the team, learn from it, and try to determine what will help Luke. I have to speak for him and make sure he gets what he needs.
Really, what parent is not the voice of their child, at least for a period of time? I understand that. But now, I am learning a new language. Words like early intervention, sensory processing, applied behavior analysis, structure, and routine. I am familiar with several of these from my background as an occupational therapist. I am learning that because this is not just a patient, but my own child that is dealing with autism, I need to be reeducated in the best treatment methods to help him. The instruction I had in OT school prepared me to work with other people's children, not necessarily my own. There is an emotional component that makes you forget so much of what was previously learned. Having a special needs child gives you a whole new perspective - on everything.
God has been in this every step of the way. He has answered prayers, opened doors, and given us direction. He has a plan in this for Luke and our family. I have a strong faith in the One who made my little boy. Luke can't talk right now but I have high hopes that he will one day. He is starting to use word approximations and he is vocal, just not really intelligible. I pray that God would give me the patience, strength, perseverance, and clarity to say what needs to be said (or written) and be heard with the intent with which it is given. So, it is in faith that I step out of my corner and speak up. I have to say that it is getting a little easier and should continue to with time and circumstance. But, it's not about me. It is about so much more. My little guy is so precious and I want him to get all the services he needs, not just to get by, but to thrive. I think, in speaking up for Luke, I am finding my voice as well. I pray that it is sufficient, for Luke's sake.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
School's out for ... 2 weeks?
Well, that doesn't sound right. You thought I was going to say "school's out for summer," didn't you? That is the cry of kids everywhere and most parents I know. My oldest, Nathan, is out for the summer and he is so excited. Tomorrow is Luke's last day of school. I should be excited, right? This should be time that we can just enjoy being together, playing, laughing and having fun. For the next two weeks, we will do just that. But thankfully, Luke will be attending a summer program at his school that begins in two weeks. Honestly, I can't wait. Sounds awful, doesn't it? It does to me too. Please don't get me wrong. We will make the most of his time off. We plan to visit family next week. For the second week off, my goal is to have fun with my boys and try to stay sane.
Let me explain. Luke loves school. It is predictable. It is routine. He is happy there. Like most kids with autism, Luke needs routine. Any time off means a change in his schedule and, like his momma, he doesn't always adjust well to change. He does alright for a few days but, when out of his routine for too long, bad things start to happen. He becomes more stressed, therefore, I become more stressed. No matter how structured and routine I try to be with him, it is not the same. I have a five year old that wants my attention as well. The balance of it all is something I haven't quite figured out yet. (I have said before that I am opposed to cloning but there are times when it would be nice to have another me.) So, for the next couple of weeks, I will love playing with my boys and just spending time with them. But, I will be counting down the days to June 13 when Luke gets back into his school routine and our household gets back to "normal" - whatever that is. I am not one who used to enjoy so much routine, but in this case, Luke needs it, I need it, and my family needs it. Planning is everything. Spontaneity is not really an enjoyable option right now.
I don't want to sound as though I am trying to pawn Luke off on his teachers for the summer. It is not like that at all. Please know that I am thankful for a summer program for Luke. His teachers know the importance of routine and this is a routine he loves. Much progress can be made during the summer. When he makes progress, his teachers share in that joy with me. They are a huge part of his life. They love him and he loves them. They give up much of there summer to work with my son and other children with special needs. Again, I say they are angels!
So, enjoy your time off. Enjoy your kids. Happy summer break all - no matter how long it is!
Let me explain. Luke loves school. It is predictable. It is routine. He is happy there. Like most kids with autism, Luke needs routine. Any time off means a change in his schedule and, like his momma, he doesn't always adjust well to change. He does alright for a few days but, when out of his routine for too long, bad things start to happen. He becomes more stressed, therefore, I become more stressed. No matter how structured and routine I try to be with him, it is not the same. I have a five year old that wants my attention as well. The balance of it all is something I haven't quite figured out yet. (I have said before that I am opposed to cloning but there are times when it would be nice to have another me.) So, for the next couple of weeks, I will love playing with my boys and just spending time with them. But, I will be counting down the days to June 13 when Luke gets back into his school routine and our household gets back to "normal" - whatever that is. I am not one who used to enjoy so much routine, but in this case, Luke needs it, I need it, and my family needs it. Planning is everything. Spontaneity is not really an enjoyable option right now.
I don't want to sound as though I am trying to pawn Luke off on his teachers for the summer. It is not like that at all. Please know that I am thankful for a summer program for Luke. His teachers know the importance of routine and this is a routine he loves. Much progress can be made during the summer. When he makes progress, his teachers share in that joy with me. They are a huge part of his life. They love him and he loves them. They give up much of there summer to work with my son and other children with special needs. Again, I say they are angels!
So, enjoy your time off. Enjoy your kids. Happy summer break all - no matter how long it is!
Learning as I go
Isn't it funny how much you think you know about parenting, until you become one? Maybe funny is not the right word. Ignorant. Naive. Those could work too. Probably the most naive words to come from my lips: "My child will not behave like that." - this after observing a child act particularly awful in a hospital waiting room. Now, I did not speak those words to the parent but to a hospital co-worker with me who observed the same thing. I will just tell you, I put both feet in my mouth that day.
Fast forward a couple of years. I have since become a parent of two very active little boys, the youngest of which has autism. My mom and I have to go to the grocery store to pick up just a few items. I don't go to Winn Dixie often, but that day it was close, so we stopped there. The few times that I have been with the boys, I have used the grocery carts shaped like race cars, you know, the ones with the steering wheels in them. The boys love them and it makes my shopping experience much more pleasant. That particular day, the " race carts" were all being used. When I started to place Luke in a regular cart, he lost it. In a big way too. If you were in Winn Dixie that day, you knew we were in the store too. I had never seen Luke act this way. I frantically searched for a cart. I asked the bag boy if he could help me. He very apologetically told me there were not any available. He must have seen my countenance drop because his did too. I am not sure if it was because he felt bad for Luke or because he was going to have to listen to him like this in the store. It didn't get any better. I took him into the bathroom to try and calm him and myself. The stares were hard to deal with. My mother and oldest son, who had previously went in the store to help get items on my list, found us in the bathroom and tried to help me with Luke. I decided to continue with our loud shopping trip and somehow deal with the stares. Thankfully, the bag boy found me (wasn't too hard unless you were hard of hearing) once a cart became available. Once Luke was in there turning the steering wheel, he was as happy as though nothing had ever upset him. Everyone in the store was happy when the "race cart" was found! This was the first meltdown and words don't adequately describe how difficult this was for me or him. I learned that going to the store at the end of what had been a busy day is not a good idea with a small child, muchless one who thrives on routine and has sensory processing issues. It was just too much for him to handle that particular day and he let it out the only way he could.
Another particular incident occurred while my family was on vacation. I had an opportunity to go to a store to do some shopping and Luke was with me. Any two year old in a clothing store for too long is not going to be happy. It was also toward the end of the day ( I am obviously a slow learner). After staying in the store for 30 minutes, Luke was growing increasingly active and irritated. I was the one pushing my luck here, knowing time was not on my side but quite amazed that he was "hanging in there" with me (or so I thought). He grew louder and louder, wanting to run around in the clothing racks. He started crying a little and hitting at my arm. Luke is non verbal, he was trying to tell me he was ready to go. I had asked a lot from him that afternoon and now he was about to boil over. I blame this episode entirely on myself. As it got worse, I tried to hurry and get out of the store as fast as I could. Of course, the kind cashier had problems ringing up my sale and had to do so three different times. The women behind me could see Luke acting out and made a point to tell me "if he were mine, he wouldn't be behaving like that." Well, I will just say, I allowed her comment to ruin two days of my vacation because I was so upset. It was the grace of God that allowed me to speak to her in a kind manner and try to educate her about autism all the while fighting back tears. She was not very kind but spoke back with bitter words. I was sad and angry. I was sad that Luke was so upset. I was angry that I had let the situation get to that point. Maybe I was angry too because of my pride, like she was indicting my parenting skills. Anyone who knows me well know that I cry easily and it is amazing to me that I did not cry in front of the woman. The tears came once I walked out of the door of the store. I let it bother me to the point that I didn't want to go anywhere busy with Luke because I was afraid of what might happen and what people might think. It was paralyzing. I had to learn what he could handle and how to identify when he is having problems with a particular situation. Sometimes that is easier than others. Sometimes it still just sneaks up on me and surprises me out of nowhere.
A couple of months after that incident, I found out about a Parent Leadership Academy in my town put on by the Alabama Parent Education Center. The instructor of the academy encouraged me to attend and, reluctantly, I did. Over the course of three days, I learned how to be an advocate for my child. I learned how to be his voice because he doesn't have one. It was a blessing. I met great people who encouraged me along the way. In this training, I learned to look at my goals as they relate to the challenges my family and I face now. I decided that I wanted to educate others about autism, especially when difficult situations arise in public. I created an autism education postcard to hand out to those around me should I experience more meltdowns and issues people may not realize is about more than just discipline. I saw that there were education cards available, but I wanted this to be specific to Luke and the particular struggles he deals with. I will be ready ( as read as I can be) when the next difficult situation arises.
I would encourage anyone who reads this to pause before passing judgement on that mom or child in the store who is having a hard time. Sure, it may be a child throwing a tantrum or a mom letting their child run wild, but it could be a child who can't take in their surroundings -the movement, the lights, the sounds- and process all that input and it just overloads their little system. It could be a mom at the end of her rope, exhausted and not sure how to best handle the situation. I was probably one of those people who were quick to judge but now I think, " That could be me." I try to whisper a prayer. I don't stare or speak harsh words. Anyone who thinks that is somehow helpful for the mother is foolish. Compassion is much more appreciated.
I am learning as I go. I will never say "my child will never do that" again. I have learned that no matter how you season them, those words taste awful.
Fast forward a couple of years. I have since become a parent of two very active little boys, the youngest of which has autism. My mom and I have to go to the grocery store to pick up just a few items. I don't go to Winn Dixie often, but that day it was close, so we stopped there. The few times that I have been with the boys, I have used the grocery carts shaped like race cars, you know, the ones with the steering wheels in them. The boys love them and it makes my shopping experience much more pleasant. That particular day, the " race carts" were all being used. When I started to place Luke in a regular cart, he lost it. In a big way too. If you were in Winn Dixie that day, you knew we were in the store too. I had never seen Luke act this way. I frantically searched for a cart. I asked the bag boy if he could help me. He very apologetically told me there were not any available. He must have seen my countenance drop because his did too. I am not sure if it was because he felt bad for Luke or because he was going to have to listen to him like this in the store. It didn't get any better. I took him into the bathroom to try and calm him and myself. The stares were hard to deal with. My mother and oldest son, who had previously went in the store to help get items on my list, found us in the bathroom and tried to help me with Luke. I decided to continue with our loud shopping trip and somehow deal with the stares. Thankfully, the bag boy found me (wasn't too hard unless you were hard of hearing) once a cart became available. Once Luke was in there turning the steering wheel, he was as happy as though nothing had ever upset him. Everyone in the store was happy when the "race cart" was found! This was the first meltdown and words don't adequately describe how difficult this was for me or him. I learned that going to the store at the end of what had been a busy day is not a good idea with a small child, muchless one who thrives on routine and has sensory processing issues. It was just too much for him to handle that particular day and he let it out the only way he could.
Another particular incident occurred while my family was on vacation. I had an opportunity to go to a store to do some shopping and Luke was with me. Any two year old in a clothing store for too long is not going to be happy. It was also toward the end of the day ( I am obviously a slow learner). After staying in the store for 30 minutes, Luke was growing increasingly active and irritated. I was the one pushing my luck here, knowing time was not on my side but quite amazed that he was "hanging in there" with me (or so I thought). He grew louder and louder, wanting to run around in the clothing racks. He started crying a little and hitting at my arm. Luke is non verbal, he was trying to tell me he was ready to go. I had asked a lot from him that afternoon and now he was about to boil over. I blame this episode entirely on myself. As it got worse, I tried to hurry and get out of the store as fast as I could. Of course, the kind cashier had problems ringing up my sale and had to do so three different times. The women behind me could see Luke acting out and made a point to tell me "if he were mine, he wouldn't be behaving like that." Well, I will just say, I allowed her comment to ruin two days of my vacation because I was so upset. It was the grace of God that allowed me to speak to her in a kind manner and try to educate her about autism all the while fighting back tears. She was not very kind but spoke back with bitter words. I was sad and angry. I was sad that Luke was so upset. I was angry that I had let the situation get to that point. Maybe I was angry too because of my pride, like she was indicting my parenting skills. Anyone who knows me well know that I cry easily and it is amazing to me that I did not cry in front of the woman. The tears came once I walked out of the door of the store. I let it bother me to the point that I didn't want to go anywhere busy with Luke because I was afraid of what might happen and what people might think. It was paralyzing. I had to learn what he could handle and how to identify when he is having problems with a particular situation. Sometimes that is easier than others. Sometimes it still just sneaks up on me and surprises me out of nowhere.
A couple of months after that incident, I found out about a Parent Leadership Academy in my town put on by the Alabama Parent Education Center. The instructor of the academy encouraged me to attend and, reluctantly, I did. Over the course of three days, I learned how to be an advocate for my child. I learned how to be his voice because he doesn't have one. It was a blessing. I met great people who encouraged me along the way. In this training, I learned to look at my goals as they relate to the challenges my family and I face now. I decided that I wanted to educate others about autism, especially when difficult situations arise in public. I created an autism education postcard to hand out to those around me should I experience more meltdowns and issues people may not realize is about more than just discipline. I saw that there were education cards available, but I wanted this to be specific to Luke and the particular struggles he deals with. I will be ready ( as read as I can be) when the next difficult situation arises.
I would encourage anyone who reads this to pause before passing judgement on that mom or child in the store who is having a hard time. Sure, it may be a child throwing a tantrum or a mom letting their child run wild, but it could be a child who can't take in their surroundings -the movement, the lights, the sounds- and process all that input and it just overloads their little system. It could be a mom at the end of her rope, exhausted and not sure how to best handle the situation. I was probably one of those people who were quick to judge but now I think, " That could be me." I try to whisper a prayer. I don't stare or speak harsh words. Anyone who thinks that is somehow helpful for the mother is foolish. Compassion is much more appreciated.
I am learning as I go. I will never say "my child will never do that" again. I have learned that no matter how you season them, those words taste awful.
Monday, May 23, 2011
How did we get here?
When I picked up Luke from school today, like most days, he was happy to see me. He loves to jump into my arms and give me the biggest hug and kiss. I love it! He has been going to school at Goodwill Easter Seals Child Development Center for the past 6 months and the progress he has made has been absolutely wonderful. Just thinking about it caused me to look back and see where he was before starting this program, thus, the question,"how did we get here?" (Sorry to disappoint any of you who might have thought this was somehow going to be about biology or our beginnings on this planet. I am not that deep a thinker, especially today).
When I took Luke for his 2 year well check up, I really didn't have a clue that anything could be wrong. My oldest, Nathan, was born when I was only 26 weeks 4 days gestation (something I hope to post about sometime). He did not meet milestones on time because of his prematurity so my husband and I didn't think much of it when Luke wasn't talking at 2 years of age. He had some peculiar habits, like becoming intensely focused on an object, such as a toy car, and would get down on it's level and roll it back and forth. He loved to sit in the same spot on the sofa or in his bed and pile blankets on top of him ( now we know it was a sensory input issue). He also had and still has an intense fascination with horses. He loves them. It is like he commes alive when he gets on a horse. Thankfully, we have a very proactive pediatrician who asked the right questions and didn't wait to see if he would just "catch up." He saw something that we didn't. I will never forget his words, "I think we need to have Luke evaluated to rule out autism." Tears filled my eyes immediately. Could something really be wrong?
The next 7 months were filled with evaluations by speech and occupational therapies, assessments by developmental pediatricians, vision and hearing evaluations, evaluation by a pediatric psychologist, DNA evaluation by a geneticist, early intervention therapies and various blood work to look at his iron levels, among other things. Then, on August 23, 2010, it was time for the autism evaluation. Everything else had been ruled out and it was on that day that we heard what we had suspected but didn't want to hear. Luke was diagnosed with autism and so, our journey began.
For the next 3 months, our lives grew progressively more difficult. We saw Luke's frustration increase as his delays in expressive communication became more evident. He just couldn't get it out so he began to scream. This became a frustration for the whole family. We often couldn't figure out what he was trying to communicate to us. We all cried at some point. Often, at many points. Life seemed to be one big mess. I questioned my sanity more than a few times. Just when I thought might lose it, I received a call from the school which Luke now attends telling me that they had an opening for Luke. That was music to my ears. I needed help and I can't begin to express how this helped me.
Luke's first day was November 29, 2010. He has made the most remarkable progress in the last 6 months. His screaming has significantly decreased. He is able to communicate through pictures and his word usage is increasing with each passing week. Most of the time, we can understand what he is trying to tell us. There are those times when we still can't figure it out and we all still get frustrated. He makes wonderful eye contact and he has the sweetest smile and cutest dimples you have ever seen. He is learning to play with his peers now and he participates in activities with his class. He has learned to identify his name on paper and he often imitates his brother in play at home. That is big stuff! He loves school too! When he gets there, he is quick to wave bye but when I return, he greets me with the best hugs ever! This program was an answer to prayer for our Luke and our family. We love each and every person at that school. The teachers and the staff love the kids and the kids love them. It is such a blessing to be able to take your child to a place where they are loved and where they are learning and growing each day. I thank God for the progress I see in Luke's life and I am so thankful for people who are dedicated to helping children with special needs. They are truly angels.
When I took Luke for his 2 year well check up, I really didn't have a clue that anything could be wrong. My oldest, Nathan, was born when I was only 26 weeks 4 days gestation (something I hope to post about sometime). He did not meet milestones on time because of his prematurity so my husband and I didn't think much of it when Luke wasn't talking at 2 years of age. He had some peculiar habits, like becoming intensely focused on an object, such as a toy car, and would get down on it's level and roll it back and forth. He loved to sit in the same spot on the sofa or in his bed and pile blankets on top of him ( now we know it was a sensory input issue). He also had and still has an intense fascination with horses. He loves them. It is like he commes alive when he gets on a horse. Thankfully, we have a very proactive pediatrician who asked the right questions and didn't wait to see if he would just "catch up." He saw something that we didn't. I will never forget his words, "I think we need to have Luke evaluated to rule out autism." Tears filled my eyes immediately. Could something really be wrong?
The next 7 months were filled with evaluations by speech and occupational therapies, assessments by developmental pediatricians, vision and hearing evaluations, evaluation by a pediatric psychologist, DNA evaluation by a geneticist, early intervention therapies and various blood work to look at his iron levels, among other things. Then, on August 23, 2010, it was time for the autism evaluation. Everything else had been ruled out and it was on that day that we heard what we had suspected but didn't want to hear. Luke was diagnosed with autism and so, our journey began.
For the next 3 months, our lives grew progressively more difficult. We saw Luke's frustration increase as his delays in expressive communication became more evident. He just couldn't get it out so he began to scream. This became a frustration for the whole family. We often couldn't figure out what he was trying to communicate to us. We all cried at some point. Often, at many points. Life seemed to be one big mess. I questioned my sanity more than a few times. Just when I thought might lose it, I received a call from the school which Luke now attends telling me that they had an opening for Luke. That was music to my ears. I needed help and I can't begin to express how this helped me.
Luke's first day was November 29, 2010. He has made the most remarkable progress in the last 6 months. His screaming has significantly decreased. He is able to communicate through pictures and his word usage is increasing with each passing week. Most of the time, we can understand what he is trying to tell us. There are those times when we still can't figure it out and we all still get frustrated. He makes wonderful eye contact and he has the sweetest smile and cutest dimples you have ever seen. He is learning to play with his peers now and he participates in activities with his class. He has learned to identify his name on paper and he often imitates his brother in play at home. That is big stuff! He loves school too! When he gets there, he is quick to wave bye but when I return, he greets me with the best hugs ever! This program was an answer to prayer for our Luke and our family. We love each and every person at that school. The teachers and the staff love the kids and the kids love them. It is such a blessing to be able to take your child to a place where they are loved and where they are learning and growing each day. I thank God for the progress I see in Luke's life and I am so thankful for people who are dedicated to helping children with special needs. They are truly angels.
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Simple Pleasures
Yesterday was a great day. It was a busy, tiring day, but a great one. I would have blogged about it last night but I was ahead of schedule. Collapse wasn't on the schedule until Saturday night, but I got to it on Friday evening instead. So, hear is a recap.
Friday morning was an awards ceremony at Covenant Christian School, where Nathan just finished his K4 year. In K4, each student receives an award which targets the particular area of learning in which they excel. This year, their awards were named after authors whose books they have read in class. Nathan received the Eric Carle Award for Colorful and Creative Artistic Ability. If you would have shown me the awards before the ceremony with the names covered, I could have told you that he would receive this award. When he does art, he is more focused than when he does anything else in this world. He is concerned with patterns and order. He loves colors and creating new projects with his art. This has to be why he told me, "Mommy, I am growing up. I don't scribble-scrabble anymore. I stay in the lines." He is 5 and growing up too fast. I love to see how God has gifted him and how he is discovering his strengths. I look forward to seeing how his talents progress over the years. I just don't want those years to come too quickly.
In the middle of this busy day was something that I wouldn't classify as a simple pleasure. I was supposed to get my CPR renewal today ( again!). This is a requirement for my job at the hospital and my certification is up on the 31st of this month. (Yes, I know it is last minute.) On my first attempt at taking this class a couple of months ago, I was 2 minutes late and the class had already begun so I was not permitted in. Not happy. So, I got there 30 minutes early for this class and guess what? It was already full. You have to be kidding me. Really not happy. I have another opportunity to go to a class at the hospital next month. My plan? Get there and hour and a half early and bring a book.
As a result of not having to sit inside all afternoon in a CPR class, I was able to enjoy a beautiful afternoon with my boys, all of them. My husband was off work a little early. We turned on the sprinklers and watched the boys run around in the yard. Listening to them laugh and watching them play was so much fun. Luke imitated everything Nathan did. That is a big thing with autism. Luke loves to imitate his big brother. It was so nice to see. Nathan didn't mind it either. Luke squealed with joy as he ran around like a typical little boy. We all enjoyed every minute. Getting them to come inside was something close to a meltdown, but it was worth all the fun that was had that afternoon.
Last night marked the end of ball season at Mims Park. It was bittersweet because we all made new friends and enjoyed getting together but we were also tired and ready for a break from ball. While all the festivities were going on, Luke was content to blow bubbles and look at a favorite book that he had brought along. He was getting fussy and on nights like this, we have learned that it is best to drive both vehicles. It helps us dodge meltdowns. Roger took Luke home and I stayed with Nathan. When I asked Nathan what he had learned about his first year of t-ball he answers "Those cupcakes we got after the game were really good. I liked that we got a coke after the games." (Thanks Jessica!). I reminded him that he learned about how to run the bases and hold a bat and hit the ball. He said "Oh yea, that too." I love that he had fun in the process. He was on a great team with great coaches. It was eye opening to me as well. I had no idea how intense t-ball can be. Some of the teams had coaches that yelled so much, it almost made me cry. I know if Nathan would have been on their teams, he would never want to play ball again and we would be looking for counselling for him now. They were quite scary. This past Tuesday night, the game had ended and Nathan had gotten his free drink (which we really paid for at the beginning of the season when we signed him up). He looked up at me and asked "Did we win?" I love that. We didn't win that playoff game and he didn't even know it. He just went out and played ball to the best of his ability and had fun in the process. Isn't that what it is all about? Parents make so much more of it than the kids. So, as the night came to a close, I thought about how I would miss the sights, sounds and, yes, even some of the smells of the ballpark. (If you are ever at Mims Park, I highly recommend the Joey burger. It is a feast for the senses!). I celebrated with one last order of the best chili cheese fries ever. Trust me, it was good. Then, I got to go home and collapse. Ahead of schedule. It was a great day.
Friday morning was an awards ceremony at Covenant Christian School, where Nathan just finished his K4 year. In K4, each student receives an award which targets the particular area of learning in which they excel. This year, their awards were named after authors whose books they have read in class. Nathan received the Eric Carle Award for Colorful and Creative Artistic Ability. If you would have shown me the awards before the ceremony with the names covered, I could have told you that he would receive this award. When he does art, he is more focused than when he does anything else in this world. He is concerned with patterns and order. He loves colors and creating new projects with his art. This has to be why he told me, "Mommy, I am growing up. I don't scribble-scrabble anymore. I stay in the lines." He is 5 and growing up too fast. I love to see how God has gifted him and how he is discovering his strengths. I look forward to seeing how his talents progress over the years. I just don't want those years to come too quickly.
In the middle of this busy day was something that I wouldn't classify as a simple pleasure. I was supposed to get my CPR renewal today ( again!). This is a requirement for my job at the hospital and my certification is up on the 31st of this month. (Yes, I know it is last minute.) On my first attempt at taking this class a couple of months ago, I was 2 minutes late and the class had already begun so I was not permitted in. Not happy. So, I got there 30 minutes early for this class and guess what? It was already full. You have to be kidding me. Really not happy. I have another opportunity to go to a class at the hospital next month. My plan? Get there and hour and a half early and bring a book.
As a result of not having to sit inside all afternoon in a CPR class, I was able to enjoy a beautiful afternoon with my boys, all of them. My husband was off work a little early. We turned on the sprinklers and watched the boys run around in the yard. Listening to them laugh and watching them play was so much fun. Luke imitated everything Nathan did. That is a big thing with autism. Luke loves to imitate his big brother. It was so nice to see. Nathan didn't mind it either. Luke squealed with joy as he ran around like a typical little boy. We all enjoyed every minute. Getting them to come inside was something close to a meltdown, but it was worth all the fun that was had that afternoon.
Last night marked the end of ball season at Mims Park. It was bittersweet because we all made new friends and enjoyed getting together but we were also tired and ready for a break from ball. While all the festivities were going on, Luke was content to blow bubbles and look at a favorite book that he had brought along. He was getting fussy and on nights like this, we have learned that it is best to drive both vehicles. It helps us dodge meltdowns. Roger took Luke home and I stayed with Nathan. When I asked Nathan what he had learned about his first year of t-ball he answers "Those cupcakes we got after the game were really good. I liked that we got a coke after the games." (Thanks Jessica!). I reminded him that he learned about how to run the bases and hold a bat and hit the ball. He said "Oh yea, that too." I love that he had fun in the process. He was on a great team with great coaches. It was eye opening to me as well. I had no idea how intense t-ball can be. Some of the teams had coaches that yelled so much, it almost made me cry. I know if Nathan would have been on their teams, he would never want to play ball again and we would be looking for counselling for him now. They were quite scary. This past Tuesday night, the game had ended and Nathan had gotten his free drink (which we really paid for at the beginning of the season when we signed him up). He looked up at me and asked "Did we win?" I love that. We didn't win that playoff game and he didn't even know it. He just went out and played ball to the best of his ability and had fun in the process. Isn't that what it is all about? Parents make so much more of it than the kids. So, as the night came to a close, I thought about how I would miss the sights, sounds and, yes, even some of the smells of the ballpark. (If you are ever at Mims Park, I highly recommend the Joey burger. It is a feast for the senses!). I celebrated with one last order of the best chili cheese fries ever. Trust me, it was good. Then, I got to go home and collapse. Ahead of schedule. It was a great day.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Just like everyone else
What a week. Monday night: t-ball playoffs. Tuesday night: t-ball playoffs. Wednesday: Nathan's last day of K4 (boo hoo); Wednesday night: AWANA awards night at church and t-ball playoffs. Friday: awards ceremony at school and CPR renewal class. Friday night: closing ceremonies for ball season. Saturday: work at hospital. Saturday evening: collapse.
No. I didn't forget about Thursday. Just trying to take it all in. It has been a big day. Nathan and I enjoyed a great end of year school party at the bowling alley. It was nice to watch him have uninterrupted fun with his friends. That doesn't happen easily. If Luke is with us, too often Nathan's fun is interrupted because I am having to deal with an issue with Luke. I sometimes worry about how this affects Nathan. That is for another day, another post.
Tonight was all about Luke. His school, Goodwill Easter Seals Child Development Center, held their end of the year program and graduation ceremony. Luke did not graduate but his class did have a part in the program. His class sang "Wheels on the Bus" with all the signs and motions. They also demonstrated things they have been learning this year, like identifying their name on paper and naming shapes. Other classes performed songs including "If your happy and you know it" and "Itsy bitsy spider". The performances were great. Luke did fantastic. He sat with his class throughout the song, performed many of the signs to the song in front of a room full of people and he only came to me once given permission by his teacher after they were finished. This all may sound simplistic. For every parent in the room, tonight was anything but simplistic. A group of children played their part in a program that made no distinction in their disabilities but praised their abilities. Tonight, they were like other children. I, for one, couldn't have been more proud of Luke. I know every parent in the room felt the same about their child. I think tonight was as much about the parents as it was for the children. Cameras were flashing everywhere and smiles were coming from every corner of the room. It is amazing to see your child, who has a disability, participate in something that kids do in every other school. They are no different. They are the same. To see them just be kids, not disabled kids, but just kids is a breath of fresh air. Parents want to see their children excel, even if it is moving to "Wheels on the bus". It is all progress. Thank you God for progress.
Now, to get some rest. Tomorrow's another busy day.
No. I didn't forget about Thursday. Just trying to take it all in. It has been a big day. Nathan and I enjoyed a great end of year school party at the bowling alley. It was nice to watch him have uninterrupted fun with his friends. That doesn't happen easily. If Luke is with us, too often Nathan's fun is interrupted because I am having to deal with an issue with Luke. I sometimes worry about how this affects Nathan. That is for another day, another post.
Tonight was all about Luke. His school, Goodwill Easter Seals Child Development Center, held their end of the year program and graduation ceremony. Luke did not graduate but his class did have a part in the program. His class sang "Wheels on the Bus" with all the signs and motions. They also demonstrated things they have been learning this year, like identifying their name on paper and naming shapes. Other classes performed songs including "If your happy and you know it" and "Itsy bitsy spider". The performances were great. Luke did fantastic. He sat with his class throughout the song, performed many of the signs to the song in front of a room full of people and he only came to me once given permission by his teacher after they were finished. This all may sound simplistic. For every parent in the room, tonight was anything but simplistic. A group of children played their part in a program that made no distinction in their disabilities but praised their abilities. Tonight, they were like other children. I, for one, couldn't have been more proud of Luke. I know every parent in the room felt the same about their child. I think tonight was as much about the parents as it was for the children. Cameras were flashing everywhere and smiles were coming from every corner of the room. It is amazing to see your child, who has a disability, participate in something that kids do in every other school. They are no different. They are the same. To see them just be kids, not disabled kids, but just kids is a breath of fresh air. Parents want to see their children excel, even if it is moving to "Wheels on the bus". It is all progress. Thank you God for progress.
Now, to get some rest. Tomorrow's another busy day.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
It's a Love-Don't Love kinda thing
I know what you are thinking. "Don't you mean love-hate thing? Love-don't love sounds weird." Well, welcome to my world. Things can be just plain weird. For instance, to say that I love autism sounds really bizarre, and yet there are things about it that I love. For me to say that I hate autism may make sense but for me it is almost too harsh. Some days I can shout it from the mountaintops. I will try to explain in the best way that I know how.
First I will start with the negative. I really don't love autism. When I was expecting my little Luke, I dreamed for him. I dreamed of him playing little league and horsing around like little boys do. I dreamed of all the great things he would tell me about - his make believe adventures and all the things he wanted to be when he grew up. I dreamed of what his voice would sound like when he said "I love you Mommy." Not to say this will never happen. I hope with all of my heart that it will. But I don't know. Stinkin' autism.
I really do not love that Luke sometimes has problems processing all the sensory stimuli around him and sometimes it overloads his little system. He can't express it to me verbally so there are those times when all he can do is meltdown. It is like a tantrum but about 100 times worse. There is little I can do but wait it out. It is heartbreaking to see your child go through that and feel powerless to help. All I can do is pray.
I don't love that he is developmentally behind his peers and instead of being at the level of other 3 y/o children, he is more at the level of a 12-18 month old when assessed for language and fine motor skills. He is making progress but it is still disheartening to hear that he is so far behind. It is hard to watch him with "normal" kids because his differences are more evident. And yes, I said "normal." Or maybe I should say "neuro-typical" because that is what children who do not have any neurological impairments are called in the healthcare world. My child is not considered "neuro-typical." So I sometimes feel that he is not normal. Sounds horrible, doesn't it?
I do not love the looks that I get all too often from strangers in the grocery stores and other busy places when Luke is not having a good day and may simply appear as a child in need of more discipline. Those stares hurt. I discipline my child. If discipline cured autism, he would be "neuro-typical" by now. Maybe it is a pride issue. It is like an indictment on my parenting skills, or perceived lack thereof. Those experiences exhaust me.
I love autism. Sounds a little weird to me too. I love my son. He is a gift from God. Psalm 139 tells me that God formed him and knew him long before I ever did. He created Luke in me, knowing exactly what he would be like, autism and all. Luke is Luke. As much as I had dreamed for him, I can't imagine him any other way. At least, not right now. I see his progress with every passing day and week. That is a testimony to God's grace and mercy in his life.
He can't tell me that he loves me, but when he smiles at me and hugs me squeezes me as hard as he can , I know. When he puts his little chubby hands on my face and smiles big enough to show me his dimples, I know. When he nuzzles his little nose into my neck and giggles, I know. When he kisses me all over my face until it is wet with slobber and we are both laughing, I know. He can do this to show me his love and I adore it.
I love the people that I have met because of autism. I am a part of a community of people who, though very different in so many ways, have a common bond. I can empathize with them and they with me. We get each other. If one of our children are having an especially difficult time, we can simply look at each other and just know. No judgment is passed. Maybe an understanding look or a quiet prayer or help if needed. But no condescending looks or harsh words. We just get it.
I love that autism has driven me to my knees. This journey is hard. Beyond hard. I know that I can't do this without the Lord and on the days that I try to do just that, I fail miserably. It is only by His strength that I can make it, that my family can make it. I need to depend fully on God on this journey. Autism reminds me of that.
Every day is an adventure. Yesterday was an exhausting mess. So glad God's mercies are new every morning. Trusting in that promise because I need His mercies and His grace daily to get through all that autism and life have to throw my way today.
First I will start with the negative. I really don't love autism. When I was expecting my little Luke, I dreamed for him. I dreamed of him playing little league and horsing around like little boys do. I dreamed of all the great things he would tell me about - his make believe adventures and all the things he wanted to be when he grew up. I dreamed of what his voice would sound like when he said "I love you Mommy." Not to say this will never happen. I hope with all of my heart that it will. But I don't know. Stinkin' autism.
I really do not love that Luke sometimes has problems processing all the sensory stimuli around him and sometimes it overloads his little system. He can't express it to me verbally so there are those times when all he can do is meltdown. It is like a tantrum but about 100 times worse. There is little I can do but wait it out. It is heartbreaking to see your child go through that and feel powerless to help. All I can do is pray.
I don't love that he is developmentally behind his peers and instead of being at the level of other 3 y/o children, he is more at the level of a 12-18 month old when assessed for language and fine motor skills. He is making progress but it is still disheartening to hear that he is so far behind. It is hard to watch him with "normal" kids because his differences are more evident. And yes, I said "normal." Or maybe I should say "neuro-typical" because that is what children who do not have any neurological impairments are called in the healthcare world. My child is not considered "neuro-typical." So I sometimes feel that he is not normal. Sounds horrible, doesn't it?
I do not love the looks that I get all too often from strangers in the grocery stores and other busy places when Luke is not having a good day and may simply appear as a child in need of more discipline. Those stares hurt. I discipline my child. If discipline cured autism, he would be "neuro-typical" by now. Maybe it is a pride issue. It is like an indictment on my parenting skills, or perceived lack thereof. Those experiences exhaust me.
I love autism. Sounds a little weird to me too. I love my son. He is a gift from God. Psalm 139 tells me that God formed him and knew him long before I ever did. He created Luke in me, knowing exactly what he would be like, autism and all. Luke is Luke. As much as I had dreamed for him, I can't imagine him any other way. At least, not right now. I see his progress with every passing day and week. That is a testimony to God's grace and mercy in his life.
He can't tell me that he loves me, but when he smiles at me and hugs me squeezes me as hard as he can , I know. When he puts his little chubby hands on my face and smiles big enough to show me his dimples, I know. When he nuzzles his little nose into my neck and giggles, I know. When he kisses me all over my face until it is wet with slobber and we are both laughing, I know. He can do this to show me his love and I adore it.
I love the people that I have met because of autism. I am a part of a community of people who, though very different in so many ways, have a common bond. I can empathize with them and they with me. We get each other. If one of our children are having an especially difficult time, we can simply look at each other and just know. No judgment is passed. Maybe an understanding look or a quiet prayer or help if needed. But no condescending looks or harsh words. We just get it.
I love that autism has driven me to my knees. This journey is hard. Beyond hard. I know that I can't do this without the Lord and on the days that I try to do just that, I fail miserably. It is only by His strength that I can make it, that my family can make it. I need to depend fully on God on this journey. Autism reminds me of that.
Every day is an adventure. Yesterday was an exhausting mess. So glad God's mercies are new every morning. Trusting in that promise because I need His mercies and His grace daily to get through all that autism and life have to throw my way today.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
To blog or not to blog? That WAS the question
I am offically a blogger. Not sure what I think about it yet. Not even sure what I will write, how often I will write or how long it will be. It may have occasional grammatical errors or mispelled words -(happens when my thoughts start moving too fast and the auto correct sneaks up on me!) So, if you follow this blog, please read with an open mind because I will simply be writing from my heart, errors and all!
So, what is in a name? How do you title a blog about life, autism, kids, family? That was a difficult one. "The (Mis)Adventures of the Broomes" was one thought. "Autism Stinks" was another. "Life on this Side" seemed to fit best (and it sounded better than "Where is my Advil!"). When I refer to "this side", I am speaking more about "this side" of eternity rather than "this side" of autism, but both can be inferred because while I am on this earth, autism is with me. My precious Luke was dianosed with it in August of 2010 and my life changed forever, not to mention the lives of my husband, Roger, and oldest son, Nathan. In this blog , I will try to share what this has been like for us thus far and what we deal with on a regular basis. Not all will be about autism because our lives are more than just that. I want to share this journey with others in hopes of increasing awareness and understanding. It may prove to be therapeutic for me as well. It is often hard to put into words what this is like but I will certainly try. I will also try to share information about autism from other blogs that I follow. Autism can be a lonely world, and unless you have a child with autism, then fully understanding it is near impossible. I am not sure that I fully understand it. I hope to share my joys and struggles with you so that you can get a glimpse into my life. Maybe it will prompt to you to whisper a prayer for us or encourage others you might know dealing with similar issues. God has been so merciful and gracious to me and my family. He is teaching me more and more each day, not just through His Word, but through parenting and autism. Is what I have to say important? I don't know. But I will say it and leave that observation to you.
So, what is in a name? How do you title a blog about life, autism, kids, family? That was a difficult one. "The (Mis)Adventures of the Broomes" was one thought. "Autism Stinks" was another. "Life on this Side" seemed to fit best (and it sounded better than "Where is my Advil!"). When I refer to "this side", I am speaking more about "this side" of eternity rather than "this side" of autism, but both can be inferred because while I am on this earth, autism is with me. My precious Luke was dianosed with it in August of 2010 and my life changed forever, not to mention the lives of my husband, Roger, and oldest son, Nathan. In this blog , I will try to share what this has been like for us thus far and what we deal with on a regular basis. Not all will be about autism because our lives are more than just that. I want to share this journey with others in hopes of increasing awareness and understanding. It may prove to be therapeutic for me as well. It is often hard to put into words what this is like but I will certainly try. I will also try to share information about autism from other blogs that I follow. Autism can be a lonely world, and unless you have a child with autism, then fully understanding it is near impossible. I am not sure that I fully understand it. I hope to share my joys and struggles with you so that you can get a glimpse into my life. Maybe it will prompt to you to whisper a prayer for us or encourage others you might know dealing with similar issues. God has been so merciful and gracious to me and my family. He is teaching me more and more each day, not just through His Word, but through parenting and autism. Is what I have to say important? I don't know. But I will say it and leave that observation to you.
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