Thursday, August 23, 2012

Two Years with Autism

August 23, 2012.  Two years already?   It has been two years since Luke was diagnosed with autism.  In so many ways it has been a blur.  I think that is why I have attempted this blogging thing.  So that when things happen, maybe I will have time to write them down.  There is always so much going on in my head, it is often hard to sort it all out.  Trying to even think about all that has happened this past year is a little overwhelming.  Maybe a lot overwhelming.  I took a look at the post I wrote last year about our first year with autism.  Here is the link if you would like to take a look:

http://donnabroome.blogspot.com/2011/08/our-first-year-with-autism.html

When I read it and then take a look at where he is now, really where we all are now, I am amazed.  I am hopeful.  I am thankful.  I will try to give a brief - haha- run down of our last year.

First,  Luke is talking!!  Praise God!  Now, not all of his words are intelligible, but so many are.  More than I can count!  He is saying two and three syllable words and talking in sentences.  When I picked him up from school yesterday, he told me "I ate all my strah-berries and my bell peffers."  I can't help but smile when I think about it.  I am in awe of his progress and I thank God that his words are coming out.  He is starting to express his own thoughts too.  What I mean by that is, he is no longer parroting my words back to me.  He told me Sunday in church, "I like dress" as he pointed to my dress.   He can say "I love you."  Most of the time I am the one saying it first but I have heard him tell me spontaneously when I least expect it.  It is always a welcome surprise!  We are working with him on phrasing questions as that is something he cannot do just yet.  He can say "I want ____" and we are encouraging him to ask instead: "May I have ___?"   Last year, it was a few word approximations.  Now this.  His communication skills have just skyrocketed which has helped with behavioral issues because he can better express himself.  Of course, he is still a 4 year old so there are still tantrums but I will take them over a meltdown any day.  I am so thankful for progress.

If you have read any of my blogs this past year that included Luke, you know that he is my social butterfly.  He has many friends that he interacts with at school and church.  Kids on the spectrum and typical kids.  He is engaged in what is happening around him.  He participates in class with the other kids.  He initiates play with others.  He makes eye contact and smiles a lot.  He says "hi" and "bye" and "thank you."  He raises his hand.  He answers questions.  He is part of the group.  Great thing is, he doesn't know that he is any different than anyone else.  His typical friends treat him as though he is not any different either.  I love that.

His favorite person to play with is his big brother.  He is great at imitating Nathan, sometimes to Nathan's dismay.  But,  he follows Nathan's lead.  It is cute to watch them work together on something, like putting on a concert for us.  They sing together (mostly) and play their instruments (sort of) and have a good time (most of the time).  Of course, they also fight like brothers do. But, wow, they love each other so much.  Nathan knows it and I believe Luke does too.  Nathan is Luke's best teacher.  I have observed Luke watching Nathan closely and try to copy him.  He is always learning and, whether Nathan likes it or not, he is always teaching Luke.

Since autism affects the entire family, I have to include how we have grown over this past year.  It has been quite a ride.  Sometimes it is still hard to wrap our minds around it all.  Nathan is pretty incredible.  This has been a big year for him.  I have been concerned about how having a special needs brother is affecting him.  He has really learned so much.  Things that can't be taught in a classroom.  I have seen him mature and grow in his compassion for others.  He doesn't always know how to act on it, but he is always wanting to help others.  He is a sweet boy with a big heart.  As for the rest of us, we have definitely grown too, not just in knowledge about autism and treatment and all that stuff,  but even more in our faith.  We know that God is in control of this and He works all things for our good and His glory (Romans 8:28).  It becomes more real to us as we face each challenge and see Him guide us through them.  We still haven't made it to the other side of this challenge but He is leading us in the midst of it.  I believe all of us have grown in compassion for others.  We are a part of an amazing autism community and a larger special needs community.  Our hearts ache for our friends.  We know that they are facing their own trials that can, at times, seem too big to handle.  We love these people.  They are a family to us.  We celebrate our children's triumphs together and we share our disappointments.  Though our circumstances are not the same, we understand each other in a way that we, as a family, would never have known prior to autism.

There is much more that I could say but those are the big points.  What a  year! His accomplishments have been just astounding to us. Thank God for progress! So once again, this year will not be celebrated with a birthday cake for this milestone (we are trying to eat better around here!).  We will just celebrate with thankfulness.  We have so much hope for him and his future.  Our family is blessed beyond measure. We have been surrounded by family and friends who have loved on Luke and our family.  They have lifted us up to the throne of grace and we have found mercy and help in our times of need just as God's Word has promised.  We are thankful that Luke is a part of a great school and has awesome teachers who love him and are diligent in their teaching of Luke and these phenomenal kids.  (If it sounds like we have got this whole thing figured out, please know that we don't.  It is a day by day thing.  Some days are better than others, just like for everyone else.  We trust God.  He has never failed us.  We know that we are not alone in this.  We are thankful for your prayers.  We need wisdom, direction, patience, strength, and understanding.  Luke's doctors and teachers need it too.  We are excited to see what our next year with autism holds.  Luke has autism but it is not who he is.  Autism may not be going down without a fight, but as long as we are here, we will the good fight by God's grace and we will trust Him with the outcome.  He is doing amazing things!


Luke and his "Luke Bear" (yes, that is what he named him) that he made on vacation

Wow, two years!
You have worked so hard! Look how far you have come!
You are amazing and loved more than you will ever know!


Saturday, August 11, 2012

Thankful for the crumbs

We just returned from a wonderful, restful vacation in Destin, Florida a couple of days ago.  It was so nice to get a way and I am thankful for the opportunity to relax.  My parents went with us and we really enjoyed our time together. So, you would think that after such a great week, I would be in a fantastic mood, thankful for everything.  Unfortunately, since the morning we packed up to come home, I have found myself grumbling and complaining.  I didn't take my blood pressure, but I am sure it steadily went up as we neared home.  I rushed around getting the laundry done and tried to "tidy up" a bit.  You know how it is when you get back from vacation - it looked like our suitcases had exploded.  Everything was everywhere.  For some reason, I felt the need to try to make my place look like something out of Better Homes and Gardens.  My house has never been spotless and I am not sure why I wanted to try to make it look that way.  I think maybe that I just felt the pressures of reality sinking back in and I needed to be productive.  School starts back in a few days and I needed to get things done.  All of the rushing around didn't make me feel any better and the house is not much better off than when we got home.   I wondered where all these clothes had come from to make up so many loads of laundry.  I swept and swept and wondered where all the crumbs had come from ( my boys!) and how long they had been there.  I was determined to teach them to follow through with cleaning up the messes they make.  After all, how are they going to become responsible adults if they can't clean up after themselves, right?  Yeah.  I was delusional and tired.  And ridiculous.  What was wrong with me?  I will tell you.  Selfishness.  Pride.  Impatience.  How can I even remotely expect perfection from my kids when they see their very imperfect mother everyday?  Why would I even want them to try to be perfect?  It is impossible.  The last thing I want to do is raise a little pharisee.  None of us will ever be perfect this side of heaven.  We can do nothing even close to that apart from Christ.  I was doing anything but show them God's grace and mercy. I was putting expectations upon them that I couldn't fulfill myself.  Shame on me.

God has a way of shining a light on things.  He brought to mind a former classmate of mine from high school who lost his young daughter less than a year ago.  I cannot imagine the ache he must feel everyday for the loss of his child.  My heart became so heavy for his loss.  I can't fathom the pain of losing a child.  I have two healthy, busy boys.  They make messes.  So what?  If I didn't have my boys, sure my laundry would be a little lighter and the crumbs wouldn't be as many, but the mess would still be here because Roger and I are here and we make messes too.  I am just glad that their crumbs are here too.  I would rather have their messes than not have them.  That is a no brainer.  I lost sight of my blessings.  I have an opportunity to show them God's love and mercy....to tell them about His grace, His Son....to teach them about repentance.....to teach them to forgive and to ask for forgiveness.  And I can train them to clean up too. They truly are gifts from God. He is so good and gracious to me.  It is so good to know that God can use broken vessels.  So thankful that He is not finished working on me.


My two little crumb makers