Our first year with autism

A year ago today, autism became a part of our family. Of course, it's not like all of the sudden Luke had autism. We had been suspecting it for a few months. It just became official that day. August 23, 2010 was when it became real. It is hard to believe that a year has already passed. So much has happened.

A year ago, Luke was a vocal little boy but his speech was mostly unintelligible. He had a handful of word approximations like "bu" for bubbles and "da" for daddy. Because of his communication deficits, there were many tantrums and occasional meltdowns. There was growing frustration for everyone in the family. We didn't know how to handle it. Over the past year, his communication has greatly improved. He can use a few simple signs and he has so many word approximations that I have lost count! Even for those who are not around him often, if paying attention to the context of the situation when he is vocal, many can understand him! He has even put two words together-not often, but it is emerging! (My favorite is "chi chee" for chili cheese corn chips.) With an increase in his communication skills have come a decrease in his behavioral problems. Of course, he is a 3 year old so there are still tantrums on occasion but all-out meltdowns are few and far between. This is a huge praise!

A year ago, Luke was content in class or nursery at church but he didn't really interact with others. He preferred to stay to himself. Now, he is engaged in what is going on around him. He takes part in class activities. He is part of the group. Most of the time, he is a happy little guy. I have even seen him show empathy which kids with autism just don't do (or so I thought from all the reading I had done). He saw a little boy fall at the playground and start crying. Luke couldn't take his eyes off of him. He made a sad face and whimpered as he pointed to the boy. I reassured him that the little boy was ok. It was like he had to make sure of that. It was so sweet and so encouraging. He is so aware of what is going on! He even tries to initiate play with others on rare occasions. And now, he plays with his brother more at home and is often seen imitating him in play. This is so fun to watch!

A year ago, Luke really didn't make eye contact and he often wouldn't respond when his name was called. Now, not only does he make great eye contact, he smiles and greets people - even strangers. He waves and says "bye" when leaving church or school. He more consistently responds when someone calls his name. He has become my social butterfly of sorts. I love it!

A year ago, my life changed in a big way, not only mine but that of every member of my family. So many challenges. So many questions. "How do we do this?" ran through my head many times. Roger and I were scared and many times felt lonely. "Who understands what we are going through?" We know that God has been with us and that He understands. He has never left us, just as He promised in His Word. But something about having a diagnosis can bring on a sense of isolation. There were times it felt like no one understood what we were dealing with. Over the past year, God has opened so many doors. He has brought many amazing people into our lives. The early intervention occupational therapist and speech therapist were wonderful and Luke responded so well to them. The teachers and staff at Goodwill Easter Seals Child Development Center were terrific with him. They were exactly what he needed (and I did too)! They taught Luke and our family so much. Now, he is at a new school for kids on the autism spectrum. He has a fantastic teacher that he likes and to which he responds. I know we will all be learning a lot from them this year (weekly parent training sessions start this week!). Of course, I cannot forget the precious children and families we have met and befriended who are on the autism journey along side us. These are people we may have never known had autism not come into our lives. We understand each other. The struggles, the victories. We get it. Autism has bonded us in a special way. We are blessed because they are in our lives.

So, we are not celebrating this one year anniversay with cake or candles or balloons. Not that kind of anniversary. This year, we are celebrating with thankfulness. Thankful that God has been with us and has gone before us down this road. His grace truly is sufficient. Thankful that, along the way, we have seen the victories in seemingly small things (but the small things are big) among the challenges. Thankful that we are not alone and we know this. God is with us and so is a community of people who cheer and cry with us because they are going through it too. We are blessed to have a very supportive family who have been with us every step of the way. We have so many who lift us up in prayer as well and I certainly am thankful for them because if we need anything, it's prayer. Prayer for wisdom, direction, progress; Luke's teachers, his doctors; our patience,our strength; Nathan and understanding...the list goes on. God has been so gracious to us. Luke is a blessing and we are learning so much about him, about God, and about life because of this road we are on. I am thankful for that. It's progress for all of us. And I am thankful for hope. Thank you God for hope.

Taking a breath...and advice

The past couple of weeks have gone by like a whirlwind. They have been filled with fun, excitement, lots of activity, and lots of change. They have been both refreshing and exhausting. Now, it's Friday. I feel like I can take a breath. And thanks to the grandparents, who wanted the boys to come over for the night, I have time to write about it.

Last week, we were fortunate to take a family vacation to Orange Beach. I had been looking forward to it all summer as we were in need of a getaway to rest and recharge. We had a wonderful time. The weather was nice and the view from our 11th floor condo at Caribe was beautiful. Until this year, the sand and saltwater didn't really appeal to the boys. They would much rather play at the pool which was okay too. On this trip, they truly enjoyed the beach. They loved playing in the sand and splashing in the waves. It was great to see them have so much fun together. My in-laws came with us this year. It was such a blessing. Not only did Roger and I enjoy their company, but we were also fortunate enough to enjoy a night out because of their help with the little ones. A vacation with small children is so nice but not necessarily relaxing so it was especially nice to have that time with Roger. It was hard to come home...but, we did. Home from vacation on Friday, attempt at recovery from vacation over the weekend, then first day of school for Luke on Monday. Whew! What was I thinking?

So, Monday rolled around and Luke started his new preschool, The Little Tree. I am thrilled to report that he had a phenomenal first day! He was happy, friendly, and didn't even have a single tee-tee accident! No tears either - from him or me! (For those who know me well, this may come as a surprise - not that he didn't cry but that I didn't!). Nathan and I had a couple of days together and enjoyed them completely. Then, Wednesday rolled around. Nathan's first day of Kindergarten. I walked him to the door of his classroom. He smiled with the teacher so I could get a picture, then he went in and started his day. Okay, this was hard for me. But, I sucked it up - no tears - and went home, not quite sure what to do with myself. I wanted to hang out at the school for a while...maybe make copies or cut out shapes or something...for any teacher...just to be there...kinda check in from time to time. Pitiful! My little guy, who usually has a hard time separating from me, did great! I was the one having the hard time. I had just talked to him about being brave and having courage and that God was with him. Now, I was having to repeat those words to myself! I survived the day and was so anxious to pick him up. He was all smiles when he got in the car. I am thrilled to report that he had a great first day too! He had a shakey start on Thursday, with a few tears, but today, he bravely got out at the carpool line and went in without me! Yea!!! and boo-hoo!!! That was a big step for him today. I guess it was for me too. He is getting to be such a big boy! I was so proud of him and he was proud of himself too!

I can't help but smile as I think about Nathan as he carried on a pretend conversation on his play phone in the car to Luke ( as Luke was still at school). He was speaking quietly so I didn't let on that I was listening to him. He said "Lukey, is school okay? Don't worry. Be brave. God is with you." That brought a big smile to my face, and tears too. It was so sweet. He is listening. Maybe he is taking it to heart.

So, here I am at the end of this busy week, well, couple of weeks really. I am sitting, breathing, and trying to collect my thoughts. Life is happening so fast. I don't want to miss anything. So many memories have been made over these last two weeks. Big moments in my sons' lives. Am I ready for all of this? I don't know...I hope so...one day at a time. Maybe I too will take that advice and not worry but be brave. I know God is with me. I can rest on that without a doubt.