Courage, Where are you?

This morning at breakfast, Nathan was especially tired.  He had his first running club meeting last night and he walked/ ran a total of 2 miles!  He did great but was pretty tired last night.  It took no time for him to fall asleep. I knew this morning might be tough.  He was slow to wake up but became very talkative and I could tell he had a lot on his mind.  During breakfast, he told me about his calendar at school that he should have finished Monday but he got behind, erased a lot, and didn't finish his work.  I encouraged him to talk to his teacher about it.  She is a very understanding woman and so kind.  Nathan really likes her and enjoys being in her class.  He told me, "Mom, I just don't have any courage this morning."  I knew he was tired but what he said stuck with me.  I continued to encourage him to talk to his teacher....She could help him....It would be okay.  It is hard to tell an introverted 6 year old that it will be okay and him get it. First grade can be kinda big and scary.  (Guess, it is sometimes hard to tell a "30 something" mom that it is going to be okay and her get it too.)

We talked about one of our favorite verses, Joshua 1:9 which states:  "Have I not commanded you?  Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor dismayed,  for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."  That became a key verse for us last year in kindergarten and still is this year.  On the way to school one morning, I had asked Nathan what he wanted to pray about for that day.  He told me that he wanted to pray that he would have courage. He was just 5 years old when he told me that.  It amazed me and broke my heart at the same time.  He already knew that this was something that was difficult for him and he could actually put it into words and tell me.  Since that time, we have repeated that verse more times than I can count.  I assured him that God is with him at school and that He will give him courage.

If you know us or have read my blog at all, you may already know that Nate is not the most outgoing kid and social situations can be hard for him.  I give him an A+ for effort though.  He played baseball this past spring and wants to play basketball this fall.  He is in the running club and is off to a great start.  He is trying by putting himself out there.  I am so proud of him for that.  My shy kid has always been very much the observer and he takes it all in.  When he gets home, he lets it all out.  I am always amazed to hear what comes out of his mouth.  He has such a sharp mind and a big heart.  He is an amazing little guy.  He has shown me courage in so many ways.  I just need to remind him of that more often.

I have been thinking about what he said, "I just don't have any courage this morning."  How many times have I felt that way but just didn't say it out loud?  There are things I have to do that I don't want to do and things I have to face that I don't want to face.  There have been plenty of situations that have taken me out of my comfort zone and have caused me to be nervous.  There will be plenty more ahead.  I need courage too.  How quickly I forget God's promises!  I need to be meditating on  Joshua 1:9 for myself as well.

I know we can have courage because God is with us wherever we go.  I firmly believe His promise.  Sometimes, I take that courage with me when I leave the house.  Other times, I find that courage is there waiting on me when I get where I am supposed to be.  I just hope that I can teach that to Nathan.  Praying that God will cultivate courage in his precious heart.  My sweet boy has so much to offer! I hope others will be able to see that as well.

I love this kiddo!

Two Years with Autism

August 23, 2012.  Two years already?   It has been two years since Luke was diagnosed with autism.  In so many ways it has been a blur.  I think that is why I have attempted this blogging thing.  So that when things happen, maybe I will have time to write them down.  There is always so much going on in my head, it is often hard to sort it all out.  Trying to even think about all that has happened this past year is a little overwhelming.  Maybe a lot overwhelming.  I took a look at the post I wrote last year about our first year with autism.  Here is the link if you would like to take a look:

http://donnabroome.blogspot.com/2011/08/our-first-year-with-autism.html

When I read it and then take a look at where he is now, really where we all are now, I am amazed.  I am hopeful.  I am thankful.  I will try to give a brief - haha- run down of our last year.

First,  Luke is talking!!  Praise God!  Now, not all of his words are intelligible, but so many are.  More than I can count!  He is saying two and three syllable words and talking in sentences.  When I picked him up from school yesterday, he told me "I ate all my strah-berries and my bell peffers."  I can't help but smile when I think about it.  I am in awe of his progress and I thank God that his words are coming out.  He is starting to express his own thoughts too.  What I mean by that is, he is no longer parroting my words back to me.  He told me Sunday in church, "I like dress" as he pointed to my dress.   He can say "I love you."  Most of the time I am the one saying it first but I have heard him tell me spontaneously when I least expect it.  It is always a welcome surprise!  We are working with him on phrasing questions as that is something he cannot do just yet.  He can say "I want ____" and we are encouraging him to ask instead: "May I have ___?"   Last year, it was a few word approximations.  Now this.  His communication skills have just skyrocketed which has helped with behavioral issues because he can better express himself.  Of course, he is still a 4 year old so there are still tantrums but I will take them over a meltdown any day.  I am so thankful for progress.

If you have read any of my blogs this past year that included Luke, you know that he is my social butterfly.  He has many friends that he interacts with at school and church.  Kids on the spectrum and typical kids.  He is engaged in what is happening around him.  He participates in class with the other kids.  He initiates play with others.  He makes eye contact and smiles a lot.  He says "hi" and "bye" and "thank you."  He raises his hand.  He answers questions.  He is part of the group.  Great thing is, he doesn't know that he is any different than anyone else.  His typical friends treat him as though he is not any different either.  I love that.

His favorite person to play with is his big brother.  He is great at imitating Nathan, sometimes to Nathan's dismay.  But,  he follows Nathan's lead.  It is cute to watch them work together on something, like putting on a concert for us.  They sing together (mostly) and play their instruments (sort of) and have a good time (most of the time).  Of course, they also fight like brothers do. But, wow, they love each other so much.  Nathan knows it and I believe Luke does too.  Nathan is Luke's best teacher.  I have observed Luke watching Nathan closely and try to copy him.  He is always learning and, whether Nathan likes it or not, he is always teaching Luke.

Since autism affects the entire family, I have to include how we have grown over this past year.  It has been quite a ride.  Sometimes it is still hard to wrap our minds around it all.  Nathan is pretty incredible.  This has been a big year for him.  I have been concerned about how having a special needs brother is affecting him.  He has really learned so much.  Things that can't be taught in a classroom.  I have seen him mature and grow in his compassion for others.  He doesn't always know how to act on it, but he is always wanting to help others.  He is a sweet boy with a big heart.  As for the rest of us, we have definitely grown too, not just in knowledge about autism and treatment and all that stuff,  but even more in our faith.  We know that God is in control of this and He works all things for our good and His glory (Romans 8:28).  It becomes more real to us as we face each challenge and see Him guide us through them.  We still haven't made it to the other side of this challenge but He is leading us in the midst of it.  I believe all of us have grown in compassion for others.  We are a part of an amazing autism community and a larger special needs community.  Our hearts ache for our friends.  We know that they are facing their own trials that can, at times, seem too big to handle.  We love these people.  They are a family to us.  We celebrate our children's triumphs together and we share our disappointments.  Though our circumstances are not the same, we understand each other in a way that we, as a family, would never have known prior to autism.

There is much more that I could say but those are the big points.  What a  year! His accomplishments have been just astounding to us. Thank God for progress! So once again, this year will not be celebrated with a birthday cake for this milestone (we are trying to eat better around here!).  We will just celebrate with thankfulness.  We have so much hope for him and his future.  Our family is blessed beyond measure. We have been surrounded by family and friends who have loved on Luke and our family.  They have lifted us up to the throne of grace and we have found mercy and help in our times of need just as God's Word has promised.  We are thankful that Luke is a part of a great school and has awesome teachers who love him and are diligent in their teaching of Luke and these phenomenal kids.  (If it sounds like we have got this whole thing figured out, please know that we don't.  It is a day by day thing.  Some days are better than others, just like for everyone else.  We trust God.  He has never failed us.  We know that we are not alone in this.  We are thankful for your prayers.  We need wisdom, direction, patience, strength, and understanding.  Luke's doctors and teachers need it too.  We are excited to see what our next year with autism holds.  Luke has autism but it is not who he is.  Autism may not be going down without a fight, but as long as we are here, we will the good fight by God's grace and we will trust Him with the outcome.  He is doing amazing things!

Luke and his "Luke Bear" (yes, that is what he named him) that he made on vacation

Wow, two years!

You have worked so hard! Look how far you have come!

You are amazing and loved more than you will ever know!

Thankful for the crumbs

We just returned from a wonderful, restful vacation in Destin, Florida a couple of days ago.  It was so nice to get a way and I am thankful for the opportunity to relax.  My parents went with us and we really enjoyed our time together. So, you would think that after such a great week, I would be in a fantastic mood, thankful for everything.  Unfortunately, since the morning we packed up to come home, I have found myself grumbling and complaining.  I didn't take my blood pressure, but I am sure it steadily went up as we neared home.  I rushed around getting the laundry done and tried to "tidy up" a bit.  You know how it is when you get back from vacation - it looked like our suitcases had exploded.  Everything was everywhere.  For some reason, I felt the need to try to make my place look like something out of Better Homes and Gardens.  My house has never been spotless and I am not sure why I wanted to try to make it look that way.  I think maybe that I just felt the pressures of reality sinking back in and I needed to be productive.  School starts back in a few days and I needed to get things done.  All of the rushing around didn't make me feel any better and the house is not much better off than when we got home.   I wondered where all these clothes had come from to make up so many loads of laundry.  I swept and swept and wondered where all the crumbs had come from ( my boys!) and how long they had been there.  I was determined to teach them to follow through with cleaning up the messes they make.  After all, how are they going to become responsible adults if they can't clean up after themselves, right?  Yeah.  I was delusional and tired.  And ridiculous.  What was wrong with me?  I will tell you.  Selfishness.  Pride.  Impatience.  How can I even remotely expect perfection from my kids when they see their very imperfect mother everyday?  Why would I even want them to try to be perfect?  It is impossible.  The last thing I want to do is raise a little pharisee.  None of us will ever be perfect this side of heaven.  We can do nothing even close to that apart from Christ.  I was doing anything but show them God's grace and mercy. I was putting expectations upon them that I couldn't fulfill myself.  Shame on me.

God has a way of shining a light on things.  He brought to mind a former classmate of mine from high school who lost his young daughter less than a year ago.  I cannot imagine the ache he must feel everyday for the loss of his child.  My heart became so heavy for his loss.  I can't fathom the pain of losing a child.  I have two healthy, busy boys.  They make messes.  So what?  If I didn't have my boys, sure my laundry would be a little lighter and the crumbs wouldn't be as many, but the mess would still be here because Roger and I are here and we make messes too.  I am just glad that their crumbs are here too.  I would rather have their messes than not have them.  That is a no brainer.  I lost sight of my blessings.  I have an opportunity to show them God's love and mercy....to tell them about His grace, His Son....to teach them about repentance.....to teach them to forgive and to ask for forgiveness.  And I can train them to clean up too. They truly are gifts from God. He is so good and gracious to me.  It is so good to know that God can use broken vessels.  So thankful that He is not finished working on me.

My two little crumb makers

Wow...20 years...already?

This past weekend, I went to my hometown of Hanceville, Alabama to see my old pals and celebrate our 20th high school reunion.  Good ole class of 1992.  We were a great class.  We were pretty close too.  I think that is a plus when you go to a small school.  My graduating class had 75 students in it.  We knew everyone in our grade and many in the grades above and below ours.  We had a chance to be that close and develop those kinds of friendships.  My husband graduated from a much larger school than mine, with a class size at least 5 times the size of mine.  He played baseball and knew the players and had a few other friends, but that was it.  He didn't know even a quarter of his graduating class.  It was more like being at a junior college.  He had more opportunities and the programs he was exposed to where superior to those that we were offered, simply because of the size of our school.  But, he didn't experience what I did in school.  We talked about it and he is actually amazed that I know so many of my classmates.  We were kind of like a family in ways.  We took up for each other, fussed with each other, loved each other.  Like a family.

For some reason, 20 years ago, I thought it would be a great idea to be president of my class.  Not completely sure why.  I would love to say that it was because of my keen leadership skills or my vision for what our class could do to make a mark on the school and community.  No.  I think it was probably more because I thought it would look good on my college applications.  Seriously.  Isn't that pathetic?  Well, I should I have given it more thought.  I didn't think far enough ahead to realize that when you are a class officer at a small school, you are also on the committee to plan the reunions for the rest of your life!  I really could have used those keen leadership skills over the past few weeks as myself and a couple of close classmates put together our reunion.  We had help as the reunion neared, but the logistics were ours to plan.  Overall, I would say it was a success, but getting there was a little stressful.   For the record, getting people to RSVP is harder than pulling teeth.  Some were excited and responded quickly.  Then those that we had to "bug" a little.  We ended up with a good turn-out though.  A few of our friends were unable to be there because of other obligations and they were truly missed.

HHS class of 1992

Then there was the issue of giving a speech.  When you are president (or were?), it seems as those you are expected to say something "presidential."  But what?  That was the question on my mind for the weeks prior to the reunion.  What do you say to people you haven't seen in 10-20 years?  I even googled it.  Yes, I did.  There were no good suggestions.  Some suggested humor - not good at that. Others suggested something inspirational - not sure about that either.  And others suggested crudeness - uh, no.  So I started thinking about my life right now.  My family and I are dealing with autism on a daily basis.  God, through autism, is teaching us lessons that we may not have learned any other way.  We grow the most through the hard times, and well, autism is hard.  Really hard.  So I thought maybe I could share with them what we are learning about life through autism.  Then I realized there is no way I can stand up there and talk for that long!  So I just shared one little thing:  take in the moments.  In looking back on life, I realize that myself and maybe many others, measure life by the big events like graduating high school or college, getting a degree, getting married, having a child, etc.  But because of Luke's autism, some of those "big" events have been put into question, at least in my mind over the previous couple of years.  There are things that I sometimes wonder if he will experience.  My prayer is that he will experience those big events and more.  I know God is in control and His plans for my sweet Luke will come to pass.  I just sometimes have to be reminded of that when I get trapped in my "worrying" mode.  Anyways,  I shared with them about a moment that happened about 2-3 months ago:

        Luke was having a difficult time going to sleep and he wanted me in his room.  I knelt by his bed, bowed my head, and closed my eyes to communicate to him that it was time to sleep, not to play.  He proceeded to touch my face and as he would touch my eyes, he would say, "one eye", then "two eyes", then he touched my nose and said "nose."  I opened my eyes to look at him and as I smiled (because I just love to hear his little voice), he said "I love you."   Tears immediately filled my eyes.  This was the first time that he ever told me that he loved me completely on his own, unsolicited by me.  I have heard him say it before, but it was always in response to me saying it first.  He would parrot it back to me.  Of course, I loved it anyway.  But this was different.  He told me first.  I thanked God for that moment and asked Him to please let me never forget it.  I hope I never do.  


So, I concluded my little speech by trying to tie it all together.  Enjoy the moments.  I wanted them to enjoy the moments of that evening.  I wanted them to be able to say that when the evening was over, they were glad they had put forth the effort to be there.  I think, for the most part, everyone enjoyed the evening and was glad to have been there.  Not because of anything I had done, but because they were genuinely happy to see their old friends and visit, even if it was just for a little while.

To complete the evening, a classmate, Sherrie, showed us her comedic skills and made everyone laugh as she handed out fun awards.  She did a great job!  Then, another classmate, David, compiled an amazing video from our old pictures and we shared many laughs and maybe even a few tears while viewing it.  It was a wonderful evening.  It made me miss my old friends.  It is sometimes hard when you live away from those you were so close to for so many years.  We laughed, we cried, we hugged, and we smiled for pictures until our smiles hurt.  I am so thankful for the time we had, growing up together and our time this past weekend.  Looking forward to seeing them all again! (But we will have to hire a professional planner for the next reunion!)

Who says you can't go home again?

Me and my dear friend, Christi

Me and my sweet husband

Me and old pal April

Me and the gals

my friends, Kathy and Penny

Mendi and Christi

Angela and Michael

Sherrie and Angela

great friends

So glad I went back home!

The Best Seat in the House

This really should have been posted last week but I couldn't seem to find the time.  I tried my best to get it done yesterday, but the afternoon took a downward spiral and by the time everyone was asleep, I was too tired to concentrate on anything but my head hitting the pillow.  So, this morning, I am going to share with you something that made me smile and still makes me smile.

Last Monday evening, Nathan invited me to be in a concert that he was having in the living room that evening.  Well, I was honored to be asked, of course!  His only request was that I had to write my own song.  He was writing his and I had to write mine too.  It had to be 30 words.  No pressure.  Luke was exempt because "Mom, you know he can't write so he can just do whatever" so says Nate.  Made sense.  If you check out the clips, you will see.  Luke did whatever.

The evening came and it was concert time.  I have to say it was so fun to watch them funny and creative and comfortable.  I say comfortable because Nathan is often uncomfortable around a lot of people.  He is quite the talker though and he can be very entertaining.  It is always good to see him have fun.  And he put a lot of thought into his little song.  He wrote about the Holy Bible and that it was the greatest book on the earth.  It was his idea, not mine.  He is a very thoughtful little guy. He came up with it on his own and did not ask for help from me.  I thought that was pretty good for an introverted 6 year old.

Luke is a different story all together.  He is my extrovert.  During the concert, he was expressive and creative and he was talking!  I could understand him.  It was music to my ears.  There was a time when I didn't know if he would talk.  Now, I can listen to him sing his "a,b,c's" or "Old Macdonald had a Farm" over and over and never tire of hearing it because I can hear his voice and understand him.  It is music to my ears.  If I can get the clips to post on here, you will see that he sometimes steals the show.  He loves attention!

Last Monday evening, I had the best seat in the house.  It was silly and fun.  I loved watching my precious boys.  I wanted to share a few clips.  They are very short, only 20-30 seconds each. They aren't the best but you get an idea of how the concert went.  (For the record,  there was some kind of video malfunction when it was my turn to perform so no clips of me will be available.  I know you are disappointed!)  So, for your viewing pleasure..........

Luke on the fiddle singing his "a,b,c's":

Nathan playing the maracas ( egg shakers) singing his original song "Holy Bible" (With Luke crashing - or saving-  the performance):

Now, Nathan sings his song:

Luke singing (sort of) "Old Macdonald had a Farm"

Last but not least, Nathan and Luke singing a duet....unplugged:

So, that was it.  Our grand concert.  We won't be going on tour anytime soon.... or ever.  It was simple but fun. The boys had a great time. We laughed together. These are the moments I want to remember forever.

A Half Marathon on Tamiflu, Walking Pneumonia on Hydrocodone syrup, and the Kitchen Sink

This is a pretty miscellaneous post.  My mind has been working in a pretty miscellaneous way.  This was written last night while my mind was going at 90 mph and wouldn't let me rest, mostly because of medication that I thought would help me sleep! Let me explain.

About a month ago, me and four of my super cool gal pals ran in the Gulf Coast Half Marathon at Pensacola Beach.  It was quite the adventure just to get there.  We started training in January and things went pretty well with a minor cold or two to interrupt a few training days.  About a week and a half before the race my training came to a halt.  My husband came home from work not feeling well and felt bad for a few days.  Then Nathan started coughing and spiked a fever the weekend before the race.  The next day, Luke started up.  I just wrote it off as one of those colds that kids get.  So much of it has been going around.  By mid week,  fevers were still there and the cough had not gone away.  I started getting congested and things weren't looking so good.  I was 4 days away from the race I had been working towards for three months.  I took the boys to the doc and because Luke was the last to develop symptoms, the doc wanted to test him for the flu.  I didn't even think it could be the flu.  They both received the flu mist vaccine in January.  Guess what?  They had the flu.  I was on my way there too.  I headed to an urgent care clinic and my test for the flu was negative at the time but because my exposure to it was so high, the doc gave me Tamiflu.  I told her about my race and, being a runner herself, she said I should be feeling better in a couple of days and should be able to race.  My stamina wouldn't be as good nor would my time, but I should be able to complete it.  So I listened to her and took my meds.  She was right.  I was tired from about 8 miles to the finish.  It was a very warm morning. My muscles were tightening up and my stride shortening.  I was hydrating at every water and gatorade station to keep going.  And I did.  I crossed the line. The clock said 2:26 and my official chip time was 2:2507.  It's not what I hope for but I will take it.  I finished!  At that point, I was just glad to finish given the circumstances of the previous weeks.

Since the race, I have been so tired.  It has been very busy around here with school activities, t-ball games/ practices, autism awareness events, etc.  But, I have been more tired than the average bear.  And, I have been having trouble with chest congestion and some coughing on and off since then.  I just thought it was allergies.  Finally, I went to the doctor yesterday, after a couple of rough nights of coughing with very little rest.  I now know why I have been feeling so bad.  I have bronchitis and walking pneumonia.  That explains a lot.  The gave me a steroid shot, a z-pack, and some hydrocodone syrup for my cough at night.  The syrup is supposed to make me drowsy, at least that is what the package says.  Instead, I was more relaxed, but could hardly rest.  My mind was so busy and I couldn't make it stop.  That's how this post came to be.  I thought if I could just write it down, get it out of my head, maybe I could sleep. Good luck on that one! On the plus side, it is helping with my cough.  On the down side, as soon as I get these thoughts out, new ones come to mind.  I think I could write a short book on miscellaneous ramblings right now.  No kidding!

Next: sports.  The t-ball season just ended this past week and it was a great one.  I will have to post on this separately sometime.  Luke made it through his first season and made really good progress.  It was a little rocky in the beginning but he got the hang of it.  I think he is going to miss it.  He likes to wear his jersey and he is proud to tell anyone who asks about his team that he is a "Ank-ee" (Yankee).  Nathan played on the Pirates and had a great year.  He made some really good progress as well.  He had fun and made some new friends which is what it is all about.  His team just missed being in the championship by one game.  They finished in 3rd place in regular season and in play-offs.  It was tiring but fun.  Maybe I will post more on this later.  Who knows? If I try the hydrocodone again, the post may come sooner than later!

My mind then went to my boys, where it so often ends up.  The school year is coming to an end for Nathan next week.  On May 25, he will be graduating from kindergarten!  Sniffle, sniffle :,) Getting a little teary already.  I think back to when he was born so early and those early weeks of his life.  We didn't know if he would even make it home with us from the hospital.  He was so sick.  God had different plans.  He is doing so well.  He is a bright, inquisitive, energetic little guy.  He is healthy, funny, and has the memory of an elephant.  Seriously.  It's scary.  He remembers numbers and dates like I haven't seen before.  He remembers the names of kids he met at the park 2-3 years ago that he only met once and maybe threw the ball with a couple of times.  I remember the occasion but don't ask me their names.  Ask him though.  He knows.  He is amazing.  Then there is Luke.  He will be going to school throughout the summer but I think back to this school year and how far he has come.  He is amazing too!  He is a happy little fellow for the most part.  He has friends, smiles a lot, has a contagious laugh, and gives the best hugs.  He is talking so much too!  Much is still unintelligible, but we can understand so much more now!  He is working so hard.  He has a program that he does with the teachers at school and then we carry over at home.  Things such as assembling puzzles, replicating block designs by looking at cards, recognizing letters of the alphabet, repeating 2 syllable words, and identifying common objects and parts of objects in pictures.  Right now, he is working on identifying parts of a computer including the screen, mouse, and keyboard.  He is also now able to identify parts of a sink including the faucet and hot/ cold knobs.  So there, I just threw in the kitchen sink!  Or in this case, I think it was a picture of a bathroom sink.  Same thing.

Hoping to rest now.  Thanks for reading my ramblings.  I will let you know when the book comes out :-)

Project Outreach does it again!

On April 20, Project Outreach (P.O.) held an Autism Awareness Assembly at Spanish Fort High School.  The director of the program, Scott Parks, asked if I would speak as part of the program and give a parent's point of view about autism.  Seeing as how I have a child with autism and I have a point of view, I agreed.   People need to know, right?   But, what will I say?  How do I fit our story neatly into a five minute spot  ('cause our story has been anything but neat.)   Will it matter?  Who will listen?  What if I cry?  How many people  will be there?  What if i mess up?.....Yea, those were the kinds of questions swirling in my mind.     Public speaking makes me so nervous.  It definitely puts me out of my comfort zone.  Autism has a way of doing that.  I think I have permanently relocated out of my comfort zone!  But then it occurred to me: those questions were really all about me.  I have always said I would help in any way I can because autism shook up my world.  But, I have hope.  Others need hope too.   So I had to rethink this whole presentation thing.  It really wasn't about me at all.   It was about something bigger.  Like awareness.  Like understanding.  Like compassion.   It wasn't about me.

So that morning, the boys and I, along with my mother and mother in law,  headed across the bay to help spread autism awareness.  I had packed bags for the boys that held their favorite books and colors to keep them occupied during the assembly (because you just never know what to expect). When we got to the school,  we couldn't help but notice the big red puzzle piece spray painted on the front lawn by the words "Autism Awareness Week."  These kids were serious about autism!  Students from P.O. led us down the hall to the gym where the assembly would take place.  As we walked, I couldn't help but notice the big, bright, impossible-to-miss signs on the walls.  They were all about autism. They were full of facts and stats.  There were puzzle pieces hanging from the ceiling. There were signs made by each grade showing their support for the autism community.  I was blown away!

 
The presentations by the students were equally impressive. Several spoke about what autism means to them and how it has changed their lives. Then there were the videos.  y usually get me. I fought back tears as the very first video played at the beginning of the assembly.  It was all about autism stats and the challenges kids with autism face.  It reminded me that my son is 1 in 88 and that we have many of these challenges ahead.  It was powerful and I admit, I couldn't watch it all because I knew I would cry.  Autism gets to me like that.

My part of the presentation came about half way through the program.  I was nervous. Even the night before I just kept staring at a blank piece of paper wondering what I would say.  I finally scribbled a few notes before going to bed.  And I have to tell you, I love how God uses our kids to remind us of His truths.  Nathan knew I was nervous and wanted to encourage me.  He reminded me of Joshua 1:9 which states: "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage for the Lord your God is with you."  He said "Mom, don't worry. Jesus is with you wherever you go." My precious son used the same verse that I have been using to encourage him when he is afraid.  I was both humbled and grateful for that gift.  And I was encouraged.  So, it was my turn.  I stepped up to the podium and placed my messy, scribbled notes in front of me.  I picked up the microphone, looked up at the audience and began to speak.  I wish I could tell you exactly what I said because I honestly don't remember. The words just came out.  I never looked at those notes.  I guess I just had them there to make me feel better.  I found a couple of faces in the crowd that appeared receptive and kind.  I just spoke from my heart and told our story.  I think it went well.  And those bags I packed for the boys, well, they helped.  The boys did great for the entire hour of the assembly.  I was a proud mommy :-)

Afterwards, there was a reception and time to talk with some of the members of P.O.  They had great questions for me about Luke and autism.  They flocked to the boys and began interacting with them.  It was a lot for Luke at first but he warmed up and was giving out hugs before it was over.  I think Nathan especially loved the attention. He was surrounded by pretty high school girls who wanted to know all about him.  I loved that he smiled and laughed with them.  Although he can be rather shy and quiet at times, he loved their attention and when all was said and done,  he said "that was fun."

It really was fun.  I was around some amazing young people who really care.  Some of them even want to work with special needs kids when they get out of school.  It was so encouraging to be around them.  I wish this program could be in every school.  The need is there.  When I was in school many years go,  I had never heard of autism. Now, it is everywhere. It's not going anywhere either. So much of it is still a mystery.  But our autism kids are here and they are growing up.  Programs like P.O. and people like Scott Parks give me hope for my son and his future. Luke is growing up (and too fast I might add!) and I pray that he will have friends like these, who truly care about him for who he is and who won't try to limit him because what he has.