Until Later.....

This is an emotional week for me.  Yes, I know, most weeks are emotional weeks for me.  But this week happens to be Luke's last at the Goodwill Easter Seals Child Devolopment Center (GESCDC).  I might as well bring the tissue with me on Friday because I am sure I will cry...sniff, sniff. It is so hard to say goodbye, especially to people who have been such a big part of my family's life.

It was in November of 2010 that I received a call for the director (Anne) that a spot had become available for Luke at this school.  It couldn't have come at a better time.  Roger and I were both at our wit's end trying to figure out this autism thing and how to help Luke.  We didn't know how to handle the screaming and the meltdowns.  It was stressful to say the least.  We were so excited that he could be in a program that could help him.  Not only did it help Luke, it helped our family as well. 

He began the program on November 29, 2010. (He didn't cry at drop off, but I did!) This was a big step for him and for me. I didn't know what to expect. How would he do? Transitions can be very difficult for kids with autism. He completely surprised me and transitioned remarkably well. In fact, the first day, he went into his class with a smile and every day since then has been the same. He loves the people there. They are an integral part of his life. Under their instruction and care, Luke has made great progress. His communication skills have improved. He has many more word approximations in his vocabulary, he uses simple signs more consistently to indicate his needs, and he is engaged in what is going on around him. He can recognize his name and match numbers. He is even making progress with potty training! (Ms. April is awesome!) The list goes on and on...not to forget the wonderful friends we have made along the way. I credit his success to God and the amazing people He has used to teach Luke. (Thank you Ms. Maria, Ms Toni, Ms. April). They are all special to me.

Over these months, I have grown to love the people who work there. The director, teachers, and assistants have all been nothing less than wonderfulThey have been supportive, encouraging, and informative. There have been days when I just looked like I needed a hug and was met with open arms(Thanks Anne!). They are like family. Their work is priceless. Not only are they good at what they do, they are also invested in the children. They really care. (Thank you Ms. Mickie, Ms. Toni). They look at these children with disabilities and see them first as children, not disabilities. They face challenges every day they go to work but they press on and are dedicated to their work and their children. I respect them so much for what they do.

But even more importantly, they have been so good to my little guy Luke. He loves going there. He is greeted with smiles each morning and, on most mornings, he flashes those sweet dimples and smiles back. (Thanks Ms. Diane, Ms. Eleanor, Ms. Bobbi, Ms. Jodi, Ms. Christy!) It is such a comfort to know your child is in good hands. He has been in great hands.

As this chapter comes to an end and a new one will soon begin, I look back with gratitude and look forward with hope. Thankful for progress already made and expectant of the progress that is to come. I am so thankful for the GESCDC and I will be forever grateful for the care they have given Luke. I know that he will miss them. I will miss them too! So, I won't say good-bye. I will just say..."until later."

Not a statistic

I never liked Statistics in college.  It was a class I struggled with but managed to get through with a passing grade.  It was probably my least favorite class.  My kind of stats are "4 out of 5 dentists prefer (toothpaste)."  I can understand that.  If only it was that easy.

Roger and I have been to a few seminars and conferences about autism over the past year.  They give lots of statistics at those too.  Stats like "30-50 percent of children with autism are mentally retarded."   I don't want to hear that.  This one is no fun to hear either: "families that have a special needs child have an 80 percent divorce rate."  It is a sad statistic but I understand how it can happen. 

Over the past year, we have grieved over our son who will face many challenges ahead.  Many tears have been shed.  We have researched autism until almost crazy, wondering if we are doing enough to help Luke while trying to balance the needs of our 5 year old, Nathan.  We are trying to figure out how to prevent Nathan from resenting Luke for the attention he receives because of autism.  We go to doctors and school.  We have had therapy in our home.  And then there is just life.  Since autism has become part of our vocabulary, we have been busy.  I am not saying all this to whine.  Almost every one I know is busy with something.  But, our busy-ness has consumed us in many ways.  All too often, our days have just been about survival.  Just making it until the kids went to bed was the goal, then we could collapse and try to get rest before starting it all over again.  Our conversations were more and more about the boys and less and less about us.  Somewhere along the way, we lost our focus.  We were heading in the same direction, wanting the same thing for our boys, but they were becoming the priority. 

The last couple of weeks have been difficult but good.  Kind of an "evaluation" of our marriage.  There has been much giving and forgiving.  Much grace has been shown to me by my sweet Roger.  I have been humbled and in awe of how God works.  What could have been a hard time for us has been what has driven us together.  Our commitment to each other and our family is as strong as ever.  We have devoted time for each other every night after the boys are in bed. I haven't had time to blog because I have been spending time with my husband! It has been wonderful! We have been praying together, reading together, talking to each other ( about things other than the boys), and remembering all over again how and why we fell in love 12 years ago.  These are things we should have been doing all along the way but, again, we had become complacent.  We took each other for granted. We have been distracted and have neglected us.  It is scary how easily that can happen.

Now, we are commited to the priority of "us."  By the grace of God, we will not be a statistic. Our boys are still a priority, without a doubt.  But, one of the best things we can do for them is be strong in our faith and our commitment to each other so that we can be what we need to be for each other and, thus, be what we need to be for them.  I am so thankful that God has blessed me with Roger and the boys.  They are truly gifts from Him.  We have certainly not done things perfectly here.  I pray that God receives all the glory from the good that will come from the messes I have made.  I know His Word to be true so I can lean on Romans 8:28 and know that He will!

Romans 8:28 :  "For we know that all things work together for good to those who love god, to those who are called according to His purpose."